"Chanel."
I let her in. She walked in.
"Deena you look fucked," she said.
"Chanel, how- did you find i was here," i said.
"This is your mans house," she said, "ryan innit."
I looked down and started cryin, "he's been shanked." i said.
She looked at me bare horrified, "Deena im so sorry, i didnt even know erm, its ok ill go."
"No no," i said, "what did u want."
"Ive got a job for you, 8 bills,"she said.
I was so confused, everyfin about ryan was makin me sad, i didnt want rochelle to worry as well.
"Chanel- I'm not on this ting anymore, its over, im not on any of this hype," i said.
"Deena, its one ting, and 8 bills," she said, "but ud have to fix up quick though, as in your look."
"What is it." i said.
"You ever heard of Guvnor bar," she asked.
"No." i said.
"E-16," she said.
My phone rang, it was Rochelle. I answered it and said, "Rochelle im just in the cab now, ill be back soon," then i put the phone down.
I looked at Chanel, "what do i have to do," i asked.
"Some guy saw your picture on facebook, and he has somethin i want and so he said that if can get u to fuck him, he'd give it to me for free, i'd give 8 bills and he'd give u 2."
"A GRAND!", i asked, " agrand to fuck?!".
"Yeah, its nang isnt it, ud get a grand to fuck some guy, tonight."
I suddenly thought about Rochelle, "i cant," i said, "im meant to be somewhere."
"Are you dum babes,ur gonna get a grand to fuck," she said.
"Alright."
I called Rochelle, "rochelle... hi... i saw my mum.... yeah yeah we're gonna sort things out.... but ill come see u tommorow.... yeah yeha im sure... no no im fine...yeah? no no i swear im ok we're gonna sort things out.... ill give u a call later on tommorow so i can come and see you... ok bye...loveyou too."
"So you on dis ting yeah," Chanel asked.
"I have to go and see my man in hospital," i said.
"Go tommorow," she said, "you need to get ready, ill send u the adress of the club and make sure you're there by 9."
Then she left.
This was so fucked up, i didnt wanna lie to rochelle but a grand to beat some guy, i couldnt turn that down, and ryan- i was shook for myself, i just wanted to know who shanked him.
I needed somewhere to go now, i couldnt stay here, it was too moist, i coudlnt go to sorcha, i didnt trust her, so I knew what i had to do.
"Hello Adam It's Deena."
I was at his house within the hour.
I got there and he opened the door. He loked at me for so long and said, "sorry."
I walked into the house and sat on the sofa, i hadnt beenhere in time, not since he fucked me up.
"Deena, i said im sorry," he said.
"Wheres Marlon," i asked.
"He's gone Brazil with his baby mum- Deena what happened to your eye."
"You did," i said, it was lyin- it was from Ryan.
Adam started cryin. He was so hench, i swear down he looked like could easily have been 6'5.
"Deena im so sorry," he said, "i was goin thru a lot, id never hurt u again."
I got up and kissed his lips. "I need to stay here," i said, "can i stay here." I slowly stroked his dick. "Of course," he said wiping his eyes, "are you still with that guy."
"Who ryan," i asked. He nodded.
"He's an ex ting, " i said. "I need to take a shower," i said, "come we take on together."
I got in the shower with him, scrubbin ourselves down, he cleaned my pussy, I cleaned his dick, as we showered i hugged him, he hand his hands all over me rubbin his dick against my thigh.
"i love u," he said. fuckin pussy. who knew that he was whipped?
"Deena i shouldnt have hit u," he said, "man was aprick."
I kissed him, "im here now innit, its forgotten."
We got out of the shower and he dried me with his towel and kissed me on my lips.
He creamed me with cocoa butter and paid extra attention to my pussy, rubbin the cream all over it, shit- i needed to get a wax, i could feel some hair growin again down there.
He kissed my neck and his dick started to get hard. He ran his fingers through my hair. I felt so clean, last night had been a madness, everytin had been a madness, everytime i closed my eyes i saw that womans face being eaten alive by worms or sometimes i saw myself getting raped by animals. so i didnt close my eyes and just looked at adams body.
I was suddenly bare shook, so i held onto him so tight as i pushed him on the bed. this guy was a fuckin giant. I licked his dick up and down. he groaned. i remembered i had two bills and that priests card in my pocket. I sucked adams dick, lickin the balls and usin bare saliva to moist up the dick. i deepthroated him, he groaned, "i fuckin love u!", he shouted out.
my pussy was gettin so wet, actually- when was the last time i fucked, i was so horny, i couldnt close my eyes or id keep seein that womans bein eatin by insects.
i wanted to cry. i blocked the image out of my head as adam sat up.
i needed to ride the dick. i stood over him and started playin with my pussy, i needed it to get wet but i couldnt get really horny, even with the giant dick beneath me callin my cunt to sit on it. I slowly sat on it. i started to ride it, the dick felt nice but in my head i couldnt stop seein the woman. I kept my eyes open wide so i couldnt close them, i rode his dick as he squeezed my tits.
I rode his dick so hard, i rode it slow but hard, like i clenched my pussy so hard so his dick felt the tightness. i had to fart so bad, but that would mean farting on his balls and that was dirty so i held it in and rode his dick whilst bangin on his chest. he was in the fuckin zone, his eyes were closed, i wish i could close mine.
He started grindin up, like arched his back up so his dick was deeper in me, i felt like i was on a mechanical bull, that how hench he was, his dick was so hard, his balls were so fat, the sound of my wet pussy eating his dick was sendin me to space. I started to feel lightheaded, the dick was sendin me insane. i could feel it all in me. i was pantin, my chest was beatin so hard, you know that feeling u get when ur face gets so hot.
He was grindin me. i was grindin him. i wanted him on top.
i got off the dick and lay on the bed. he got on top, he spread my legs and licked my pussy.
He slowly put his dick in me. AAAHH, "nah nah wait," i said, "its not in properly."
he took it out and put it in again, i wanted to thank his mum for the size of his piece, or whoever it was that gave it to him.
he started bangin me slowly, he was pantin, i was pantin, i kissed his licks and was scratching his back.
"Fuck me," i whispred, "my pussys all for you."
he started gettin rougher with me, i got ligheaded again and then i couldnt remember anythin.
I woke up and he was eating my pussy. I came in his mouth.
He looked at me, my juices runnin down his mouth. "im gonna brush my teeth,". He left the room.
i was lyin in the bed, legs spread, nipples hard, i was playin with mypussy. I turned and saw his phone, i wanted to take some pictures of myself for him, i picked up the phone and went to go to camera but then i thought, "lemme check this guys call list."
Then i did.
He came back to the room.
I looked at him
I asked him this question,
"Why the fuck have u got 25 calls from Ryan?".
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Monday, 10 May 2010
DEENA SKET CHAPTER 52
I held back my tears as I read the text. I put my phone off. I didnt wanna believe it. I just walked in the rain.
And then i stopped and put my phone back on and started cryin, it was rainin so hard as my phone rang. I was drenched and freezing.
I picked up the phone, "Sorcha."
"Deena," she was cryin, "where are you?".
"What happened," i asked. i was havin to shout, the wind was so loud, my hair was a mess, my make up was fucked, i felt so sick.
"Ryan's got bawed up," she sobbed, "my mums gone to the hopsital with his dad, deena come and be with me."
I held back my tears, "no," i said, "im not goin back to souf,".
"ok,ok," she cried, "but why not," she asked.
Even though damon and that lot were east man i didnt wanna be anywhere bait, i needed to be far away.
"Where's Ryan," i asked, "which hospital?".
"Kings," she sobbed and then she started cryin so loud, "he's gonna die."
I had never heard her cry so hard.
"Deena, why wont u comebe with me," she asked.
I was startin to shiver so hard, "sorcha, im not comin back to-"
then the line cut. the wind blew the phone out of my hand. it fell on the floor and i picked it up. I wasnt thinkin straight.
I took out Rochelle's adress, i ran into a phone booth and found a phone number for a cab. I called it.
I waited in the phone booth for it to come and when I saw it, i ran in. I gave the cab lady the adress.
West was so far, when the cab got to rochelles address, the fare was 50 pounds. It was an adress in Camden, this werent west, it was north west but it was just near baker street, like in between baker street and camden.
I got out of the cab and called her.
"Rochelle,im outside,".
I looked up at the big house and saw her from the window, she opened it and ran down. She opened the door. She looked at me and gasped.
"Babes come in."
She pulled me in and hugged me and closed the door.
"Deena," she said, "what happened."
She was in a nightgown. "Come upstairs," she said.
The way the house was, it was like there 3 floors and i think each person rented their own floor. Rochelle pulled me upstairs onto her floor. it had its own bathroom, toilet and bedroom, i think she shared a kitchen though.
She pulled me into the bathroom and dried me down with a towel. I was sobbing, she kept saying, "its gonna be ok, whatever it is."
Then she hugged me.
I sobbed so hard as i sat on the edge of the bath.
"Deena, what happened."
"Can i take a shower please,".
"Yeah yeah, ok use one of the blue towels, ill be in the room."
I got into the shower and cried. it felt so nice. it was so clean. You should have seen the amount of dirt that came off my body. My hair was so fucked, it was like bare frizzy. I got out of the shower, dried myself with the towel and walked to rochelles room.
"You ok?", she asked.
I nodded.
"Wear these pyjamas," she said. I got dresed in front of her. we both sat on the bed, it was so warm.
I told her everythin, except about Paula.
"A priest?", she asked.
I nodded, "and he tried to rape you?", she asked.
I nodded, "so i fucked him up," i said.
"Serves him right," she said, "why is a priesttrying to pay for sex."
She looked at me. "Rochelle, im tired of it all,".
She nodded, "I want to get away."
She looked horrified but not shocked when i told her about Damon, Icey and the rape and the initiation.
"I swear Deena," she said, "i know you're sad that ryans been stabbed, but hes just like these man who kidnap a woman and make a yout rape her to initiate him,."
She was wrong. Ryan wasnt like dem. "Deena, running away isnt the answer," she said, "i tried it, but until you sort out whats inside of you it dont matter where you go, you'll still be troubled,".
"But Rochelle," i said, "its too much, all this hype or this shit, i dont know what i would have done if i didnt have you adress, i would have done suttin stupid."
Then i started cryin.
She hugged me. I felt so safe. It was like bein held by my older sister.
"Dont worry about michelle," she said, "ill find another way to see her, just think about u."
I wasnt thinkin about michelle anyway.
"I need to go and see Ryan," i said.
"For what?!," she said, "Deena, this is your chance to move on, dont forget that ryan is the reason YOU were in hospital once, you had a miscarriage because he fucked u up, i lost a baby too uno."
I looked at her.
"I was pregnant, i didnt even know who the father was, i didnt even know i was pregnant and erm i was in dis club in central and the older sister of some guy that in the gang that raped me saw me there and fucked me up, i lost the baby and i cry it for bare, i never stop missin it, and it wasnt- it wasnt that long after i lost my mum," she said, she started cryin, she quickly wiped her tears.
"You're a fool if you still wanna be with him," she said, "you're a fool if you think he'll change, because like i told you, if a bredda hits you once, he'll hit u again, whats so attractive about him, does his sweet boy flex cancel out all the timeshes made u cry," she said.
I looked at her and said, "but he loves me."
"Deena, Ryan doesnt know how to love, none of the men in that family do, they're all sick men, ryans dad, my step dad, they're all the same, Ryans a road man pure and simple, dont forget that he used to be tight bredrins wiv the man who just raped an innocent woman in front of your own eyes, ill tell you this Deena, if you dont leave this lifestyle, it will kill you, too many mandem and chicks today cant see the bigger picture, it aint even about education, its about life, whats fulfillin about this lifestyle, always scared, the money aint worth it cos no sooner than the feds nab you its all gone, none of it is worth it, i was raped, punched, assualted so many times because of these road man that everyone's so hot for," she said.
I looked down, her room was so warm. her curtains were closed, "They looknang now Deena," she said, "they look nang now when they're makin that big p, when they're in their big whips and they're big on road but what happens in 20 years time, and thats if they're lucky, look at you- you're one of the most beautiful people ive ever seen and look at you, youve been fucked up so many times your eyes are dead, all for what- what has any of this, what have dese man ever done for you, look what you've lost deena- your friend, you cant even walk around without being shook someones gonna get u, what for Deena."
She looked at me and shook her head, "I see myself so much in you, i thought i was a big girl, rollin with all these man, uno how many people were shook of me and my girl sherice cos of who we knew, and now guess what,all them girls who were shook of me are in uni, they're doin productive things with their lives, i saw one girl i fucked up in year 10 today and when she saw me she was so nice even though I used to bully her and she's in uni and workin part time, yeah tru say im out of trouble but look at me, the only fing i have are gcses deena, thats it and i even fucked them up- too busy watchin man, too busy worryin about the rave next friday or what so and so said on facebook or what so and so said about me, none of that matters when you look back at it, where does it get you, where did it get me."
I tried my best to hold back my tears, "what am i gonna do," i cried.
"You're gonna free yourself" she said, "you're gonna love yourself enough to know that yeah you've made mistakes but you're young Deena, you're 18, how long do u wanna live for, if you aint plannin on dyin tommorow then you better stop feeling sorry for yourself and get it together."
I cried and put my head on her shoulder, she held me so tight, "I aint got noone," i said.
"Yes you do," she said, "you've got yourself, thats all you need, your bredrins have their own path to lead, theyve got their own lives, live for you Deena, dont watch what other people are doin, live for you, look what tryin to impress people did to both me and you, i would still have my mum if i didnt get involved with her-".
Then she kept quiet.
"I need to leave London," i said, "can you help me?".
She looked at me, "I'll help you, if you're willing to help yourself, you can never see Ryan, or Sorcha again, they're bad mind,"
I had never felt so safe, it was so warm in her room.
"Deena, these man on road dont care about anyfin," she said to me gently, "they will kill you, they dont feel anyway because they're animals, you see the man who have morals, the man who have sense, them man like Wiley, SB, The SN1 man, Bashy, Noel Clarke, Chipmunk, Tinchy, man like that, they are the ones who you need to be following if you're gonna follow man, you wont see them on road cos they know the only place the road takes you is to another road until that road takes you to pen or the cemetery, you seen that documentary on itv about wormwood scrubs, these are disturbed men, they started out like ryan, smurkz and fumez, they think they're bad, they think they're the shit, but they dont realize that they're wasting their lives, the worst thing is that some of them have youts, and i was one of them dumb girls who fucked them or almost had a baby, and even though i miss my baby, i know God made it so i didnt have it, Deena listen to me, there's a war and these man on road are going to lose, and the smart breddas, the ones with dreams and morals and hardwork are goin to win, these man who are so fucked in the head that they can stab people are the biggest pussies, they're animals, not even most anims kill their own kind, who the fuck kills their own kind,a lot of these man dont know how to cope with life, like they're just born, fed and thats it, they dont get any trainin and so thats how they do all these tings, they need help."
She hugged me.
"Im scared," i said.
"Alright," she said, "tommorow you're gonna go to wherever your clothes are and bring them here and then we'll sort something out,". I nodded, "when you go, you'll get a cab, you'll go straight there and come straight back, thats it."
I nodded.
"You hungry?", she asked.
I nodded, "you want some ackee and saltfish."
"You made it?", i asked.
"Deena, not to be rude, but once you taste my cookin, you'll wanna slap your nan."
We both started creasin.
We ate and then we watched Paid In Full. It was like sittin with someone id known all my life.
We went to bed.
The next morning, me and rochelle woke up and had breakfast. She let me borrow her clothes. I was rockin a baggy navy blue star in the hood jumper, black tights and white airforces.
"Get your stuff and come right back," she said, "dont go anywhere else, dont speak to noone,".
She called me a cab.
I got in it bare shook. It was around 9.30, the traffic wasnt bad. all my shit was at ryans house. I told rochelle it was at mine but if i did, she'd say i couldnt go, but i needed my stuff.
I got to Ryans house and unlocked the door with the key I had.
I walked up to the room and quickly packed my clothes in my LV suitcase. I called Rochelle and told her i was at my yard so she wouldnt worry and she told me to call a cab ten minutes before i was ready to come back so i didnt have to wait too long alone.
I walked around the house after packin and sat in the kitchen and poured myself some orange juice.
The door bell rang. Shit.
Omfg, what was i gonna do, who the fuck was it. oh my fuckin gosh, what if it was whoever shanked Ryan.
I walked to the door slowly and opened it.
"Guess who, bitch."
And then i stopped and put my phone back on and started cryin, it was rainin so hard as my phone rang. I was drenched and freezing.
I picked up the phone, "Sorcha."
"Deena," she was cryin, "where are you?".
"What happened," i asked. i was havin to shout, the wind was so loud, my hair was a mess, my make up was fucked, i felt so sick.
"Ryan's got bawed up," she sobbed, "my mums gone to the hopsital with his dad, deena come and be with me."
I held back my tears, "no," i said, "im not goin back to souf,".
"ok,ok," she cried, "but why not," she asked.
Even though damon and that lot were east man i didnt wanna be anywhere bait, i needed to be far away.
"Where's Ryan," i asked, "which hospital?".
"Kings," she sobbed and then she started cryin so loud, "he's gonna die."
I had never heard her cry so hard.
"Deena, why wont u comebe with me," she asked.
I was startin to shiver so hard, "sorcha, im not comin back to-"
then the line cut. the wind blew the phone out of my hand. it fell on the floor and i picked it up. I wasnt thinkin straight.
I took out Rochelle's adress, i ran into a phone booth and found a phone number for a cab. I called it.
I waited in the phone booth for it to come and when I saw it, i ran in. I gave the cab lady the adress.
West was so far, when the cab got to rochelles address, the fare was 50 pounds. It was an adress in Camden, this werent west, it was north west but it was just near baker street, like in between baker street and camden.
I got out of the cab and called her.
"Rochelle,im outside,".
I looked up at the big house and saw her from the window, she opened it and ran down. She opened the door. She looked at me and gasped.
"Babes come in."
She pulled me in and hugged me and closed the door.
"Deena," she said, "what happened."
She was in a nightgown. "Come upstairs," she said.
The way the house was, it was like there 3 floors and i think each person rented their own floor. Rochelle pulled me upstairs onto her floor. it had its own bathroom, toilet and bedroom, i think she shared a kitchen though.
She pulled me into the bathroom and dried me down with a towel. I was sobbing, she kept saying, "its gonna be ok, whatever it is."
Then she hugged me.
I sobbed so hard as i sat on the edge of the bath.
"Deena, what happened."
"Can i take a shower please,".
"Yeah yeah, ok use one of the blue towels, ill be in the room."
I got into the shower and cried. it felt so nice. it was so clean. You should have seen the amount of dirt that came off my body. My hair was so fucked, it was like bare frizzy. I got out of the shower, dried myself with the towel and walked to rochelles room.
"You ok?", she asked.
I nodded.
"Wear these pyjamas," she said. I got dresed in front of her. we both sat on the bed, it was so warm.
I told her everythin, except about Paula.
"A priest?", she asked.
I nodded, "and he tried to rape you?", she asked.
I nodded, "so i fucked him up," i said.
"Serves him right," she said, "why is a priesttrying to pay for sex."
She looked at me. "Rochelle, im tired of it all,".
She nodded, "I want to get away."
She looked horrified but not shocked when i told her about Damon, Icey and the rape and the initiation.
"I swear Deena," she said, "i know you're sad that ryans been stabbed, but hes just like these man who kidnap a woman and make a yout rape her to initiate him,."
She was wrong. Ryan wasnt like dem. "Deena, running away isnt the answer," she said, "i tried it, but until you sort out whats inside of you it dont matter where you go, you'll still be troubled,".
"But Rochelle," i said, "its too much, all this hype or this shit, i dont know what i would have done if i didnt have you adress, i would have done suttin stupid."
Then i started cryin.
She hugged me. I felt so safe. It was like bein held by my older sister.
"Dont worry about michelle," she said, "ill find another way to see her, just think about u."
I wasnt thinkin about michelle anyway.
"I need to go and see Ryan," i said.
"For what?!," she said, "Deena, this is your chance to move on, dont forget that ryan is the reason YOU were in hospital once, you had a miscarriage because he fucked u up, i lost a baby too uno."
I looked at her.
"I was pregnant, i didnt even know who the father was, i didnt even know i was pregnant and erm i was in dis club in central and the older sister of some guy that in the gang that raped me saw me there and fucked me up, i lost the baby and i cry it for bare, i never stop missin it, and it wasnt- it wasnt that long after i lost my mum," she said, she started cryin, she quickly wiped her tears.
"You're a fool if you still wanna be with him," she said, "you're a fool if you think he'll change, because like i told you, if a bredda hits you once, he'll hit u again, whats so attractive about him, does his sweet boy flex cancel out all the timeshes made u cry," she said.
I looked at her and said, "but he loves me."
"Deena, Ryan doesnt know how to love, none of the men in that family do, they're all sick men, ryans dad, my step dad, they're all the same, Ryans a road man pure and simple, dont forget that he used to be tight bredrins wiv the man who just raped an innocent woman in front of your own eyes, ill tell you this Deena, if you dont leave this lifestyle, it will kill you, too many mandem and chicks today cant see the bigger picture, it aint even about education, its about life, whats fulfillin about this lifestyle, always scared, the money aint worth it cos no sooner than the feds nab you its all gone, none of it is worth it, i was raped, punched, assualted so many times because of these road man that everyone's so hot for," she said.
I looked down, her room was so warm. her curtains were closed, "They looknang now Deena," she said, "they look nang now when they're makin that big p, when they're in their big whips and they're big on road but what happens in 20 years time, and thats if they're lucky, look at you- you're one of the most beautiful people ive ever seen and look at you, youve been fucked up so many times your eyes are dead, all for what- what has any of this, what have dese man ever done for you, look what you've lost deena- your friend, you cant even walk around without being shook someones gonna get u, what for Deena."
She looked at me and shook her head, "I see myself so much in you, i thought i was a big girl, rollin with all these man, uno how many people were shook of me and my girl sherice cos of who we knew, and now guess what,all them girls who were shook of me are in uni, they're doin productive things with their lives, i saw one girl i fucked up in year 10 today and when she saw me she was so nice even though I used to bully her and she's in uni and workin part time, yeah tru say im out of trouble but look at me, the only fing i have are gcses deena, thats it and i even fucked them up- too busy watchin man, too busy worryin about the rave next friday or what so and so said on facebook or what so and so said about me, none of that matters when you look back at it, where does it get you, where did it get me."
I tried my best to hold back my tears, "what am i gonna do," i cried.
"You're gonna free yourself" she said, "you're gonna love yourself enough to know that yeah you've made mistakes but you're young Deena, you're 18, how long do u wanna live for, if you aint plannin on dyin tommorow then you better stop feeling sorry for yourself and get it together."
I cried and put my head on her shoulder, she held me so tight, "I aint got noone," i said.
"Yes you do," she said, "you've got yourself, thats all you need, your bredrins have their own path to lead, theyve got their own lives, live for you Deena, dont watch what other people are doin, live for you, look what tryin to impress people did to both me and you, i would still have my mum if i didnt get involved with her-".
Then she kept quiet.
"I need to leave London," i said, "can you help me?".
She looked at me, "I'll help you, if you're willing to help yourself, you can never see Ryan, or Sorcha again, they're bad mind,"
I had never felt so safe, it was so warm in her room.
"Deena, these man on road dont care about anyfin," she said to me gently, "they will kill you, they dont feel anyway because they're animals, you see the man who have morals, the man who have sense, them man like Wiley, SB, The SN1 man, Bashy, Noel Clarke, Chipmunk, Tinchy, man like that, they are the ones who you need to be following if you're gonna follow man, you wont see them on road cos they know the only place the road takes you is to another road until that road takes you to pen or the cemetery, you seen that documentary on itv about wormwood scrubs, these are disturbed men, they started out like ryan, smurkz and fumez, they think they're bad, they think they're the shit, but they dont realize that they're wasting their lives, the worst thing is that some of them have youts, and i was one of them dumb girls who fucked them or almost had a baby, and even though i miss my baby, i know God made it so i didnt have it, Deena listen to me, there's a war and these man on road are going to lose, and the smart breddas, the ones with dreams and morals and hardwork are goin to win, these man who are so fucked in the head that they can stab people are the biggest pussies, they're animals, not even most anims kill their own kind, who the fuck kills their own kind,a lot of these man dont know how to cope with life, like they're just born, fed and thats it, they dont get any trainin and so thats how they do all these tings, they need help."
She hugged me.
"Im scared," i said.
"Alright," she said, "tommorow you're gonna go to wherever your clothes are and bring them here and then we'll sort something out,". I nodded, "when you go, you'll get a cab, you'll go straight there and come straight back, thats it."
I nodded.
"You hungry?", she asked.
I nodded, "you want some ackee and saltfish."
"You made it?", i asked.
"Deena, not to be rude, but once you taste my cookin, you'll wanna slap your nan."
We both started creasin.
We ate and then we watched Paid In Full. It was like sittin with someone id known all my life.
We went to bed.
The next morning, me and rochelle woke up and had breakfast. She let me borrow her clothes. I was rockin a baggy navy blue star in the hood jumper, black tights and white airforces.
"Get your stuff and come right back," she said, "dont go anywhere else, dont speak to noone,".
She called me a cab.
I got in it bare shook. It was around 9.30, the traffic wasnt bad. all my shit was at ryans house. I told rochelle it was at mine but if i did, she'd say i couldnt go, but i needed my stuff.
I got to Ryans house and unlocked the door with the key I had.
I walked up to the room and quickly packed my clothes in my LV suitcase. I called Rochelle and told her i was at my yard so she wouldnt worry and she told me to call a cab ten minutes before i was ready to come back so i didnt have to wait too long alone.
I walked around the house after packin and sat in the kitchen and poured myself some orange juice.
The door bell rang. Shit.
Omfg, what was i gonna do, who the fuck was it. oh my fuckin gosh, what if it was whoever shanked Ryan.
I walked to the door slowly and opened it.
"Guess who, bitch."
Sunday, 9 May 2010
DEENA SKET CHAPTER 51
She looked at me.
"Oi Deena, stop looking at her," Damon shouted. I started cryin as I realized it wasnt Sandra, it was a woman that looked like her but still it didnt matter. it was sick.
Icey was up against a wall sobbing as Murda was kicking the womans face.
"No," i screamed.
I pushed Murda away and shielded the woman with my own body. "Stop,"i screamed. the woman was wailing a sobbing, she was someones mum, i could tell.
"Deena move," Damon said.
"No," i said, "please, let her go."
Damon kicked me in the head. I fell to the floor.
"Take her home bruv," Murda said.
I looked at the woman, she clung to me as Damon pulled me away. Icey was up against the wall cryin tryin not to look at the woman.
I felt sick. It was like i was dreamin.
Damon dragged me out and pulled me all the way down to the car.
We both sat inside and i cried.
"Damon, i dont wanna be involved in any of this,i wont say anythin about this, please just let me go,"
He looked at me, I was crying so hard, i was starting to have a panic attack, i felt lightheaded and i felt like i wasnt there and i was trembling so hard.
Damon pulled a bottle of Evian from the back of the car and gave it to me,it was brand new, "drink it slow," he said.
I opened it shaking and sipped it.
I sipped it slowly and was starting to feel better.
"Deena, if you tell anybody about this," he said.
I looked at him, "please, i wont, i just wont- i beg u let me go,."
"What do you mean, let you go?", he asked,
"I dont wanna be involved with any of this now," i said, "i just wanna go home."
"Deena, if you tell anybody about this, ryan will be the least of your problems."
His voice was so scary, i was so prang, all i could think about was the woman, it wsnt sandra but she looked so much like her, and Icey, that poor bre. he didnt even know what he was doin.
I looked at damon,"damon- i swear to you," she said, "please, i wont say shit, uve been so cool to me, i just- i dont wanna see anymore of dis and fuck anythin up for you or Murda, im a pussy."
He looked at me and said, "get out of the fuckin car then innit."
"what."
He kicked me out of the car, i fell on the floor. I didnt waste anytime, i stumbled to my feet and walked away bare fast, ill never forget that image of myself walkin away, blood runnin down my lip sobbing, nowhere to go,someone as peng as me goin thru all this.
I had nowhere to go. I really had nowhere.
People drivin past where lookin at me like i was mad, i had bare money in my account so i knew what i was gonna do.
My phone was ringin, i looked down. It was Sorcha, i ignored it, it was so mad, but i knew what i had to do, then all of a sudden i felt sick. I ran into some alleyway and vomited on the wall, two girls looked at me and started laughin and walked on. I felt so sick. I was in east somewhere, i was on a high street, I looked and saw the road name and called a cab. I wasnt even thinkin straight, i didnt even know what i was gonna do.
I told the cab to wait outside the mcdonalds and when i thought i saw it, i ran to the car and got in.
"Cab for a Deena," the indian guy said.
"Yeah yeah," i said nervously. It mustve been 11 by now.
"where to," he asked.
"Hendon."
Whilst i was in the cab, i was so scared, what the fuck was i doin, where else i could i go tho. I knew what i was gonna do, i was- i felt so sick, oh shit, sorry stop the cab.
I Cant.
stop the cab. Please.
I cant.
I vomited all over the seats.
"OH WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO!".
"I TOLD YOU STOP THE FUCKIN CAR," i shouted. I started cryin, the image of that woman and icey made me sick.
The cab driver was gettin so vex, he was cussin me. I was havin a panic attack again.
"You stoopid beetch," he shouted when the vomit started to smell.
I didnt say anythin, he stopped the car at a gas station and said, "ill charge u for this, ill charge u to clean this."
He got out of the car and ran into the shop to get tissues. I kissed my teeth and jumped out of the car and ran out. He saw me from inside the shop and tried to chase after me, he threw his shoe at me as i ran.
I was so desperate now, i didnt know what i was gonna do, i had ran fast enough, like ten minutes away from the cab driver.
I was pantin so hard, i was sweatin. I felt so sick, my breath smelt of vomit. I walked into a shop and bought some mint chewing gum, i know i looked so frass, like i could smell my own pussy, i know i looked sick.
I paid for the gum and walked out and then i walked into some park. It was 11, and dark, it was so dark and i felt sick.
I wanted to die, why was all this happenin to me, all this shit, what for, i sat on the park bench lookin into the black sky. Then i realized, Natalie.
All dis started from when i fucked ryan and fumes after they raped her, if i didnt do that, i would have never had met ryan or fumez and then i wouldnt have seen sorcha again that time at fumez yard and id still be in college and still be besties with natalie.
As i was thinking, some old white man came and sat next to me. It was dark, but i could see that he looked like one of them man who spent all day in the pub, he looked like the man from the royle family just bald and a bit chubbier.
"You alright love," he asked.
I looked at him, "yeah," i said. I wiped my eyes.
"You dont look it," he said. He gave me a tissue. I wiped my eyes with it, blew my nose with it and gave it back to him, he put it in his pocket.
"Boyfriend troubles?", he asked, he had a really husky voice, like had a problem with his throat. he smelt of beer and cigarettes and a bit of piss, you know the smell that tramps have. He was wearin a navy bomber jacket and dark jeans and some white dirty nike trainers.
"You're a very beautiful girl," he said, "anyone ever told u that."
I looked at him, he looked at my tits, "im not interested," i said.
He looked at my lips and said, "please,".
"Please what."
Then he kissed me. I pushed him away. He pulled out his wallet.
"Please," he started beggin. he was so pathetic, imagine- old man beggin me for sex.
he was breathin so hard,he stank of piss. he looked like one of them paedophiles you see on crime watch.
I looked at wallet,he pulled out 20 pounds.
I got up and went to leave, "please," he said beggin, "please."
I turned around, he had 200 in his hands. I looked at him.
I walked to him, "is there a toilet near here," i asked.
"Yes," he said, "there is".
I kissed him on the lips as it started to rain, he took my hand led me into the toilets.
We walked into the cubicle and he locked the door. I was up against the cubicle wall as he took of his jacket, he was wearin one of them thing priests wear.
"you're a priest?", i asked.
He didnt say anythin and squeezed my tits.
"get em out," he said.
"wait," i said gently startin touch my pussy, "gimme the money first."
He was so desperate he gave me the 200 and i put it in my pocket. "u got anymore," i asked.
"here's my card," he said, "when we're done, we'll go and take more out."
He gave me his debit card. "eat my pussy," i said.
He got on his knees, i looked at him as he was on his knees trying to get to my pussy.
"wait," i said, "let me suck ur dick,."
he laughed.
"ur a priest?", i asked.
"yes," he said as i got on my knees.
"catholic?", i asked.
he nodded as he whipped out his dick. it was red, really fat balls and red, like 4 inches.
"suck me slow," he said.
"alright."
I put my mouth on the dick. he sighed.
Then i bit it.
He screamed.
I bit the dick so hard till i tasted blood. He fell to the floor. I tumped him in the face and then started to knee him, i grabbed his head and slammed it onto the toilet.
He started cryin as I started kickin his face.
"wheres ur fuckin card," i screamed, he sobbed as he gave it to me.
I kicked him in the face three times and spat on his face. and then i ripped out his collar.
I kicked him in his teeth, his blood splattered on my shoes.
I grabbed him by his neck and punched him.
"Fassy," i shouted.
Then i left, with his card and 200. I ran out of the park and back onto the mainroad. I called another cab, i was gonna go to rochelles, i had her new adress, then my phone rang. it was a text from Sorcha.
SORCHA:
Babes
Its me, i beg u call me when u get this, its important, its about Ryan.
He's been stabbed.
"Oi Deena, stop looking at her," Damon shouted. I started cryin as I realized it wasnt Sandra, it was a woman that looked like her but still it didnt matter. it was sick.
Icey was up against a wall sobbing as Murda was kicking the womans face.
"No," i screamed.
I pushed Murda away and shielded the woman with my own body. "Stop,"i screamed. the woman was wailing a sobbing, she was someones mum, i could tell.
"Deena move," Damon said.
"No," i said, "please, let her go."
Damon kicked me in the head. I fell to the floor.
"Take her home bruv," Murda said.
I looked at the woman, she clung to me as Damon pulled me away. Icey was up against the wall cryin tryin not to look at the woman.
I felt sick. It was like i was dreamin.
Damon dragged me out and pulled me all the way down to the car.
We both sat inside and i cried.
"Damon, i dont wanna be involved in any of this,i wont say anythin about this, please just let me go,"
He looked at me, I was crying so hard, i was starting to have a panic attack, i felt lightheaded and i felt like i wasnt there and i was trembling so hard.
Damon pulled a bottle of Evian from the back of the car and gave it to me,it was brand new, "drink it slow," he said.
I opened it shaking and sipped it.
I sipped it slowly and was starting to feel better.
"Deena, if you tell anybody about this," he said.
I looked at him, "please, i wont, i just wont- i beg u let me go,."
"What do you mean, let you go?", he asked,
"I dont wanna be involved with any of this now," i said, "i just wanna go home."
"Deena, if you tell anybody about this, ryan will be the least of your problems."
His voice was so scary, i was so prang, all i could think about was the woman, it wsnt sandra but she looked so much like her, and Icey, that poor bre. he didnt even know what he was doin.
I looked at damon,"damon- i swear to you," she said, "please, i wont say shit, uve been so cool to me, i just- i dont wanna see anymore of dis and fuck anythin up for you or Murda, im a pussy."
He looked at me and said, "get out of the fuckin car then innit."
"what."
He kicked me out of the car, i fell on the floor. I didnt waste anytime, i stumbled to my feet and walked away bare fast, ill never forget that image of myself walkin away, blood runnin down my lip sobbing, nowhere to go,someone as peng as me goin thru all this.
I had nowhere to go. I really had nowhere.
People drivin past where lookin at me like i was mad, i had bare money in my account so i knew what i was gonna do.
My phone was ringin, i looked down. It was Sorcha, i ignored it, it was so mad, but i knew what i had to do, then all of a sudden i felt sick. I ran into some alleyway and vomited on the wall, two girls looked at me and started laughin and walked on. I felt so sick. I was in east somewhere, i was on a high street, I looked and saw the road name and called a cab. I wasnt even thinkin straight, i didnt even know what i was gonna do.
I told the cab to wait outside the mcdonalds and when i thought i saw it, i ran to the car and got in.
"Cab for a Deena," the indian guy said.
"Yeah yeah," i said nervously. It mustve been 11 by now.
"where to," he asked.
"Hendon."
Whilst i was in the cab, i was so scared, what the fuck was i doin, where else i could i go tho. I knew what i was gonna do, i was- i felt so sick, oh shit, sorry stop the cab.
I Cant.
stop the cab. Please.
I cant.
I vomited all over the seats.
"OH WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO!".
"I TOLD YOU STOP THE FUCKIN CAR," i shouted. I started cryin, the image of that woman and icey made me sick.
The cab driver was gettin so vex, he was cussin me. I was havin a panic attack again.
"You stoopid beetch," he shouted when the vomit started to smell.
I didnt say anythin, he stopped the car at a gas station and said, "ill charge u for this, ill charge u to clean this."
He got out of the car and ran into the shop to get tissues. I kissed my teeth and jumped out of the car and ran out. He saw me from inside the shop and tried to chase after me, he threw his shoe at me as i ran.
I was so desperate now, i didnt know what i was gonna do, i had ran fast enough, like ten minutes away from the cab driver.
I was pantin so hard, i was sweatin. I felt so sick, my breath smelt of vomit. I walked into a shop and bought some mint chewing gum, i know i looked so frass, like i could smell my own pussy, i know i looked sick.
I paid for the gum and walked out and then i walked into some park. It was 11, and dark, it was so dark and i felt sick.
I wanted to die, why was all this happenin to me, all this shit, what for, i sat on the park bench lookin into the black sky. Then i realized, Natalie.
All dis started from when i fucked ryan and fumes after they raped her, if i didnt do that, i would have never had met ryan or fumez and then i wouldnt have seen sorcha again that time at fumez yard and id still be in college and still be besties with natalie.
As i was thinking, some old white man came and sat next to me. It was dark, but i could see that he looked like one of them man who spent all day in the pub, he looked like the man from the royle family just bald and a bit chubbier.
"You alright love," he asked.
I looked at him, "yeah," i said. I wiped my eyes.
"You dont look it," he said. He gave me a tissue. I wiped my eyes with it, blew my nose with it and gave it back to him, he put it in his pocket.
"Boyfriend troubles?", he asked, he had a really husky voice, like had a problem with his throat. he smelt of beer and cigarettes and a bit of piss, you know the smell that tramps have. He was wearin a navy bomber jacket and dark jeans and some white dirty nike trainers.
"You're a very beautiful girl," he said, "anyone ever told u that."
I looked at him, he looked at my tits, "im not interested," i said.
He looked at my lips and said, "please,".
"Please what."
Then he kissed me. I pushed him away. He pulled out his wallet.
"Please," he started beggin. he was so pathetic, imagine- old man beggin me for sex.
he was breathin so hard,he stank of piss. he looked like one of them paedophiles you see on crime watch.
I looked at wallet,he pulled out 20 pounds.
I got up and went to leave, "please," he said beggin, "please."
I turned around, he had 200 in his hands. I looked at him.
I walked to him, "is there a toilet near here," i asked.
"Yes," he said, "there is".
I kissed him on the lips as it started to rain, he took my hand led me into the toilets.
We walked into the cubicle and he locked the door. I was up against the cubicle wall as he took of his jacket, he was wearin one of them thing priests wear.
"you're a priest?", i asked.
He didnt say anythin and squeezed my tits.
"get em out," he said.
"wait," i said gently startin touch my pussy, "gimme the money first."
He was so desperate he gave me the 200 and i put it in my pocket. "u got anymore," i asked.
"here's my card," he said, "when we're done, we'll go and take more out."
He gave me his debit card. "eat my pussy," i said.
He got on his knees, i looked at him as he was on his knees trying to get to my pussy.
"wait," i said, "let me suck ur dick,."
he laughed.
"ur a priest?", i asked.
"yes," he said as i got on my knees.
"catholic?", i asked.
he nodded as he whipped out his dick. it was red, really fat balls and red, like 4 inches.
"suck me slow," he said.
"alright."
I put my mouth on the dick. he sighed.
Then i bit it.
He screamed.
I bit the dick so hard till i tasted blood. He fell to the floor. I tumped him in the face and then started to knee him, i grabbed his head and slammed it onto the toilet.
He started cryin as I started kickin his face.
"wheres ur fuckin card," i screamed, he sobbed as he gave it to me.
I kicked him in the face three times and spat on his face. and then i ripped out his collar.
I kicked him in his teeth, his blood splattered on my shoes.
I grabbed him by his neck and punched him.
"Fassy," i shouted.
Then i left, with his card and 200. I ran out of the park and back onto the mainroad. I called another cab, i was gonna go to rochelles, i had her new adress, then my phone rang. it was a text from Sorcha.
SORCHA:
Babes
Its me, i beg u call me when u get this, its important, its about Ryan.
He's been stabbed.
Saturday, 8 May 2010
DEENA SKET CHAPTER 50
It was like a few hours later.
Damon and I were sittin in the front room and i was playing with his dick. all of their boys had left so it was just me, damon, murda and.. shit ryans sister.
I looked to Damon, "Damon, whats ryan sister doing here,"
Damon looked at me, "We're trainin her innit,".
"For what."
"She wants us to look after her, and she's gonna do a ting for us," he said.
"What,"
He looked at me and laufed, "did u ask ryan this many questions?".
"Please tell me,"
Damon kissed me and said, "She's a virgin innit and so we told her that if she does a line up of 30 man, we'd look after her."
I looked down and started to have a panic attack, i took in a deep breath and said, "but she's ryans sister."
Damon kissed his teeth, "ryans a fassy, you know how many fings us man have almost gone through cos of him, like with this diane ting, if ryan was here we'd all be in pen for shotting."
"I dont get u," i said.
"The feds know that Diane was shottin for Murda when she got killed but cos Murda is a snitch for the feds, they'll overlook it, if we still rolled with Ryan they would have to arrest us cos of the ting he and fumez did when they tried to duppy that natalie ting."
"The police know about Murda- and they havent arrested him?".
"You think the police are stupid, the MET police solve murder, they work with intelligence on terrorism, you don't think they know how to deal with drugs on road," he said.
"I dont get it," i said.
"Deena, the feds know about everything that goes on on road, they just choose to ignore it, "
I didnt say anything and kissed his cheek, "come out with us tonight,"he said.
"where are you goin," i asked.
Just as i was speakin, my phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and looked at it, it was Ryan.
Damon looked at me, took the phone and threw it, "fassy," he said, "dont worry ill get you a new phone."
I kissed his neck, i was so moist for this guy, so funny he didnt seem so sexy in the car with me that time that night natalie try set me up with jesse and faisani.
"Deena," he said, "dont tell anyone about paula or what you're doing for us yeah, if you there'll be consequences,". I nodded.
"Whats she doing in there with him," i asked.
"Probably backing him brain, 30 man have paid 40 each to be in the line up to take her hyman," he laughed.
"Who gets to fuck her first," i asked.
"Whoever pays more on the day," he said. I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
"How did she come to you," i asked.
"She knew Ryan rolled with us, and came to find him, but by these times he had left to go south innit and she said she wanted looking after so we came to a deal, tru say she looks like a black sorcha."
I nodded. This wasnt right. this girl was michelles cousin, ryans sister, sorcha's cousin, the idea of this was makin me sick.
"Tonight we're going to some warehouse to initiate one guy innit, 14 year old bredda who wants to role with us, he's gonna do somethin for us innit."
"What," i askd.
Damon kissed my neck, "you are the sexiest chick in the world," he said. I giggled. He started rubbing my pussy. I could hear Murdahad put on Nolay's unorthodox daughter in his room. I kissed Damon, we were lipsin, he grabbed my tits. He kissed my neck. I put my leg around his waist, he started suckin my tits. I took out his dick and started suckin, my jaws were hurtin from when ryan and adam punched me but i didnt care. I sucked on the tip and slowly took the whole ting in my mouth. He just back with his hands behind his head smilin.
Paula walked in by herself fixing her school uniform and sat in the chair watching. I was about to stop but damon pushed my head back down, "wheres murda," he asked paula.
"He has a headache," she said. Omg, she sounded just like Sorcha.
"Damon, do i have to go home?", she said.
I looked up, "why dont u wanna go home?", i asked.
She looked down.
"Paula talk to Deena," Damon said, he got up with his dick still out and walked to Paula. She kissed his dick and then he left and shut the door behind him.
"Paula, why are you here?", i asked, "where's your mum and dad?".
She looked at me and said, "i cant go back home," she said, "my dads been hittin my mum."
I looked at her and tried not to cry, ryan was right, his dad was a prick, "Everytime my mum talks about my older brother, he hits her."
She didnt know i knew ryan.
"Why," i asked.
"My older brother left when my dad came back to be with my mum and my dad made my mum choose between my brother staying or my dad not coming back to her and even though she didnt choose my dad, she didnt stop ryan- thats my brother- from leavin but now my cousin, we thought she was dead and what it is is that my mums scared that ryan might be involved in crime and doesnt wanna get a call one day to say he's dead, so she wants him home, thats why i came here to find him, but erm- when i- things worked out differently."
"Paula, why do you need protection," i asked.
"I cant live with my parents anymore," she said startin to cry, "my dads been hittin my mum so bad, he doesnt work, he cant keep a job, my mum is the one who works but sometimes she cant even get up to go to work because he fucks her up so bad and he's been starting to beat me as well."
"How old are you?".
"16," she said.
"You've got your GCSEs comin up?", i asked.
She nodded and started to cry, I walked over to her and hugged her. Shelooked at me and said, "who hit you?".
I didnt wanna say who it was, cos it was her brother so i said, "i tripped and fell."
"Thats what my mum tells her friends," Paula said.
"Paula," i said, "you dont have to do this line up ting, you're a virgin its gonna hurt you."
"I have to,"she said, "if i dont, murda wont look after me and then id have nobody."
This girl looked like a black sorcha, she was so beautiful.
I looked at her and was about to speak when Murda walked in, "Paula i beg you go chinese take away for man and get the usual."
She got up and walked to him, he gave her 20 pounds. "deena u want anythin?", he asked.
"Erm no," i said.
"Then Paula get anythin u want, and bring man back change." She took the money and left.
"We're going out tonight," Murda said.
"Damon said," i said.
He stared at me and said, "dont feel sorry for Paula, she loves dick just as much as ryan and sorcha, mus run in the family."
Damon walked in and sat on my lap and laufed,
"ur squashin me," i giggled playin with his dick.
"brav," he said to murda, "i fink im in love with this chick uno."
"Is her pussy that good," he asked.
Damon looked at me and said, "best pussy mans ever had."
Paula came back a few minutes later with the food.
Murda lipsed her and she said, "can i stay here tonight please."
"We're goin out," Damon said, "go home."
"I cant," she said.
"Please just let her stay," i said, "she can still stay here alone."
Damon looked at Murda and Murda said, "alright."
A few hours passed, before I knew it it was 9.
Me, Damon and Murda left Paula at the flat and got into Damons whip. "Where we goin," i asked.
"First we're gonna pick up the bre i was tellin u about then go to some estate, Deena when he gets in the car make him feel relaxed yeah," Murda said. I was at the back and Murda was in the passenger seat.
We got to Aylesbury Estate and when we got there some guy who didnt lookanymore than 13 got into the car.
He spudded Murda and Damon, then looked at me and whispered, "whoah."
Murda and Damon laughed, "this is deena," murda said.
"Hi," i said kissing him on the lips. We started lipsin, I touched his dick. AAHH! what the fuck was i doin, i was gonna stop but Damon looked at me. I lipsed the guy and kissed his neck.
"If u go through with this shit tonight u get to fuck her," Murda said. WHAT! I wantd to say somethin but i was scared, so i said nothin.
We got to some old place, it was like some old estate, like it was gonna be demolished. We got out of the car and when we got there, two of Murda's man were waitin.
Murda hugged them and said, "she's up there."
We walked up in the estate. it was so dark and horrible and cold. I hated it. i could sense something bad coming. It reminded me of the whole thing with chanel and smurkz. I felt sick.
Murda looked at Damon and said, "are you ready."
The guy whose name was Icey nodded, i could sense the fear, it was the same fear i felt when i could sense somethin bad was coming. Murda opened the door.
There were five men in the place.
It was dark.
Then i looked on the floor, OH MY GOSH.
I screamed.
Damon looked at me and told me to shut up.
It was a black woman, tied up. over her head were bare pillow cases. and she was naked.
I looked at Damon, "no no," i said, "no this is rape."
Damon slapped me, "Deena shut up, you're scaring Icey"
"I cant do it," Icey said.
"If u wanna role with us then do what needs to be done."
Damon said, "Deena, get him hard."
I looked at Damon and started cryin, i held them back and walked to icey. i started kissing on his neck, playing with his dick blowin in his ear. Then he got a boner.
He slowly took off his tracksuit and was naked.
"SHIT," Murda said, "how old are you bruv?".
"15," Icey said.
"Mans dick wasnt lookin like that when man was 15," Damon said.
"He developed fast," Murda said.
all of them started to laufin. Icey laughed nervously.
"Do it to her,"Murda said, "and ull be cool wiv us."
"Who is she," Damon asked one of the other man.
"Some woman we nabbed from her car, try blow her horn at us, she's been here for two days."
I wanted to cry as Icey nervously tried to put his dick in the woman. the woman started cryin and screamin. Murda kicked her face and held her still. Damon held her legs apart as Icey slowly put the dick inside. The womans muffled scream pierced me, i knew i would never forget it.
I was screamin inside as Icey raped her. Damon and everyone were watchin and smilin as Icey was fuckin her. The woman was screamin, her hands were tied up. She was a black woman, her skin was so dark and clean, like no dirt had ever touched it, but that was a lie because Icey was that dirt. He was fuckin her, he was cryin as he did it.
"MAN UP BRUV!", Murda shouted.
Then Icey screamed and came.
He fell on his back.
"Pull off the pillow cases bruv,"Damon said.
Murda slowly pulled the pillow cases off the womans head.
I fell to the ground and hit my head hit the floor.
"Sandra."
Damon and I were sittin in the front room and i was playing with his dick. all of their boys had left so it was just me, damon, murda and.. shit ryans sister.
I looked to Damon, "Damon, whats ryan sister doing here,"
Damon looked at me, "We're trainin her innit,".
"For what."
"She wants us to look after her, and she's gonna do a ting for us," he said.
"What,"
He looked at me and laufed, "did u ask ryan this many questions?".
"Please tell me,"
Damon kissed me and said, "She's a virgin innit and so we told her that if she does a line up of 30 man, we'd look after her."
I looked down and started to have a panic attack, i took in a deep breath and said, "but she's ryans sister."
Damon kissed his teeth, "ryans a fassy, you know how many fings us man have almost gone through cos of him, like with this diane ting, if ryan was here we'd all be in pen for shotting."
"I dont get u," i said.
"The feds know that Diane was shottin for Murda when she got killed but cos Murda is a snitch for the feds, they'll overlook it, if we still rolled with Ryan they would have to arrest us cos of the ting he and fumez did when they tried to duppy that natalie ting."
"The police know about Murda- and they havent arrested him?".
"You think the police are stupid, the MET police solve murder, they work with intelligence on terrorism, you don't think they know how to deal with drugs on road," he said.
"I dont get it," i said.
"Deena, the feds know about everything that goes on on road, they just choose to ignore it, "
I didnt say anything and kissed his cheek, "come out with us tonight,"he said.
"where are you goin," i asked.
Just as i was speakin, my phone rang. I took it out of my pocket and looked at it, it was Ryan.
Damon looked at me, took the phone and threw it, "fassy," he said, "dont worry ill get you a new phone."
I kissed his neck, i was so moist for this guy, so funny he didnt seem so sexy in the car with me that time that night natalie try set me up with jesse and faisani.
"Deena," he said, "dont tell anyone about paula or what you're doing for us yeah, if you there'll be consequences,". I nodded.
"Whats she doing in there with him," i asked.
"Probably backing him brain, 30 man have paid 40 each to be in the line up to take her hyman," he laughed.
"Who gets to fuck her first," i asked.
"Whoever pays more on the day," he said. I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
"How did she come to you," i asked.
"She knew Ryan rolled with us, and came to find him, but by these times he had left to go south innit and she said she wanted looking after so we came to a deal, tru say she looks like a black sorcha."
I nodded. This wasnt right. this girl was michelles cousin, ryans sister, sorcha's cousin, the idea of this was makin me sick.
"Tonight we're going to some warehouse to initiate one guy innit, 14 year old bredda who wants to role with us, he's gonna do somethin for us innit."
"What," i askd.
Damon kissed my neck, "you are the sexiest chick in the world," he said. I giggled. He started rubbing my pussy. I could hear Murdahad put on Nolay's unorthodox daughter in his room. I kissed Damon, we were lipsin, he grabbed my tits. He kissed my neck. I put my leg around his waist, he started suckin my tits. I took out his dick and started suckin, my jaws were hurtin from when ryan and adam punched me but i didnt care. I sucked on the tip and slowly took the whole ting in my mouth. He just back with his hands behind his head smilin.
Paula walked in by herself fixing her school uniform and sat in the chair watching. I was about to stop but damon pushed my head back down, "wheres murda," he asked paula.
"He has a headache," she said. Omg, she sounded just like Sorcha.
"Damon, do i have to go home?", she said.
I looked up, "why dont u wanna go home?", i asked.
She looked down.
"Paula talk to Deena," Damon said, he got up with his dick still out and walked to Paula. She kissed his dick and then he left and shut the door behind him.
"Paula, why are you here?", i asked, "where's your mum and dad?".
She looked at me and said, "i cant go back home," she said, "my dads been hittin my mum."
I looked at her and tried not to cry, ryan was right, his dad was a prick, "Everytime my mum talks about my older brother, he hits her."
She didnt know i knew ryan.
"Why," i asked.
"My older brother left when my dad came back to be with my mum and my dad made my mum choose between my brother staying or my dad not coming back to her and even though she didnt choose my dad, she didnt stop ryan- thats my brother- from leavin but now my cousin, we thought she was dead and what it is is that my mums scared that ryan might be involved in crime and doesnt wanna get a call one day to say he's dead, so she wants him home, thats why i came here to find him, but erm- when i- things worked out differently."
"Paula, why do you need protection," i asked.
"I cant live with my parents anymore," she said startin to cry, "my dads been hittin my mum so bad, he doesnt work, he cant keep a job, my mum is the one who works but sometimes she cant even get up to go to work because he fucks her up so bad and he's been starting to beat me as well."
"How old are you?".
"16," she said.
"You've got your GCSEs comin up?", i asked.
She nodded and started to cry, I walked over to her and hugged her. Shelooked at me and said, "who hit you?".
I didnt wanna say who it was, cos it was her brother so i said, "i tripped and fell."
"Thats what my mum tells her friends," Paula said.
"Paula," i said, "you dont have to do this line up ting, you're a virgin its gonna hurt you."
"I have to,"she said, "if i dont, murda wont look after me and then id have nobody."
This girl looked like a black sorcha, she was so beautiful.
I looked at her and was about to speak when Murda walked in, "Paula i beg you go chinese take away for man and get the usual."
She got up and walked to him, he gave her 20 pounds. "deena u want anythin?", he asked.
"Erm no," i said.
"Then Paula get anythin u want, and bring man back change." She took the money and left.
"We're going out tonight," Murda said.
"Damon said," i said.
He stared at me and said, "dont feel sorry for Paula, she loves dick just as much as ryan and sorcha, mus run in the family."
Damon walked in and sat on my lap and laufed,
"ur squashin me," i giggled playin with his dick.
"brav," he said to murda, "i fink im in love with this chick uno."
"Is her pussy that good," he asked.
Damon looked at me and said, "best pussy mans ever had."
Paula came back a few minutes later with the food.
Murda lipsed her and she said, "can i stay here tonight please."
"We're goin out," Damon said, "go home."
"I cant," she said.
"Please just let her stay," i said, "she can still stay here alone."
Damon looked at Murda and Murda said, "alright."
A few hours passed, before I knew it it was 9.
Me, Damon and Murda left Paula at the flat and got into Damons whip. "Where we goin," i asked.
"First we're gonna pick up the bre i was tellin u about then go to some estate, Deena when he gets in the car make him feel relaxed yeah," Murda said. I was at the back and Murda was in the passenger seat.
We got to Aylesbury Estate and when we got there some guy who didnt lookanymore than 13 got into the car.
He spudded Murda and Damon, then looked at me and whispered, "whoah."
Murda and Damon laughed, "this is deena," murda said.
"Hi," i said kissing him on the lips. We started lipsin, I touched his dick. AAHH! what the fuck was i doin, i was gonna stop but Damon looked at me. I lipsed the guy and kissed his neck.
"If u go through with this shit tonight u get to fuck her," Murda said. WHAT! I wantd to say somethin but i was scared, so i said nothin.
We got to some old place, it was like some old estate, like it was gonna be demolished. We got out of the car and when we got there, two of Murda's man were waitin.
Murda hugged them and said, "she's up there."
We walked up in the estate. it was so dark and horrible and cold. I hated it. i could sense something bad coming. It reminded me of the whole thing with chanel and smurkz. I felt sick.
Murda looked at Damon and said, "are you ready."
The guy whose name was Icey nodded, i could sense the fear, it was the same fear i felt when i could sense somethin bad was coming. Murda opened the door.
There were five men in the place.
It was dark.
Then i looked on the floor, OH MY GOSH.
I screamed.
Damon looked at me and told me to shut up.
It was a black woman, tied up. over her head were bare pillow cases. and she was naked.
I looked at Damon, "no no," i said, "no this is rape."
Damon slapped me, "Deena shut up, you're scaring Icey"
"I cant do it," Icey said.
"If u wanna role with us then do what needs to be done."
Damon said, "Deena, get him hard."
I looked at Damon and started cryin, i held them back and walked to icey. i started kissing on his neck, playing with his dick blowin in his ear. Then he got a boner.
He slowly took off his tracksuit and was naked.
"SHIT," Murda said, "how old are you bruv?".
"15," Icey said.
"Mans dick wasnt lookin like that when man was 15," Damon said.
"He developed fast," Murda said.
all of them started to laufin. Icey laughed nervously.
"Do it to her,"Murda said, "and ull be cool wiv us."
"Who is she," Damon asked one of the other man.
"Some woman we nabbed from her car, try blow her horn at us, she's been here for two days."
I wanted to cry as Icey nervously tried to put his dick in the woman. the woman started cryin and screamin. Murda kicked her face and held her still. Damon held her legs apart as Icey slowly put the dick inside. The womans muffled scream pierced me, i knew i would never forget it.
I was screamin inside as Icey raped her. Damon and everyone were watchin and smilin as Icey was fuckin her. The woman was screamin, her hands were tied up. She was a black woman, her skin was so dark and clean, like no dirt had ever touched it, but that was a lie because Icey was that dirt. He was fuckin her, he was cryin as he did it.
"MAN UP BRUV!", Murda shouted.
Then Icey screamed and came.
He fell on his back.
"Pull off the pillow cases bruv,"Damon said.
Murda slowly pulled the pillow cases off the womans head.
I fell to the ground and hit my head hit the floor.
"Sandra."
Friday, 7 May 2010
DEENA SKET CHAPTER 49
"Mum you cant marry him," i said.
She went to slap me, i pushed her back. What she said hit me, she said she wished she had killed me, aborted me.
I started cryin so hard. "You slut," she screamed, "you've always been jealous of me."
I looked at her and held back my tears, the pain i was feeling was so piercing I felt like i was gonna collapse.
I looked at her and said, "Bye mum."
"You NEED me," she screamed, "you're nothing but a cheap slut, how can you ever be my child?".
"Ive never needed you, nan raised me, and i have money, my DADS been sending money to me."
She looked shocked, "you what?".
"I went to see him, he's been sending me money because i'm his daughter, if anyones the slag its you, fucking married man coming like Javine,."
She picked up the vase and threw it at me. I dodged it.
She went to fight me, i pushed her on the chair and ran upstairs. I locked my bedroom door, got changed into a tracksuit and reeboks and then packed my clothes.
I unlocked the door, i didnt say anything to her and left.
I didnt know where i was gonna go.
For all i knew, it couldve been sorcha who told ryan i was with adam.
my nan was in bados.
ryan was out of the question so was adam.
I was so scared to be walkin around like this, i kept worryin that smurkz would come after me. And then i thought, "im gonna see my dad."
I couldnt go and see him like this. I got on the bus to go to nans house and when i got on the bus some chicks started singing
DEENA DEENA
EVERYONE'S BEAT IT
BUSS IN HER MOUTH
DUN KNOW SHE'D EAT IT
I just ignored them, my face was bruised up, my hair was a mess. I got off the bus and walked to grandmas house. I unlocked the door and ran up to the shower, i didnt want to cry as i showered but i just did, and then i remembered that i didnt see the spare key, sorcha mustve forgotten to post it when she left.
I got out of the shower, dried myself, straightened my hair, put on concealer and some make up, and put on my coco and breezy's, my navy blue baggy star in the hood jumper, black tights and electric blue reeboks.
I left the house, with the sunglasses you couldnt tell my eyes were bruised.
I called a cab to my dads workplace in finsbury.
I got in and tried not to cry, i hated my mum so much, what she said was hurtin my heart.
The cabdriver wanted to talk to me about the election but i didnt say anythin, i was too upset.
It got to the GP and i paid the driver, i didnt even know how much. I walked into the gp and asked the receptionist for my dad.
"Did you book an appointment with him?", the receptionist asked. I didnt wanna tell her that i was his daughter cos he most probably knew hs wife and other kids and i didnt wanna ruin anythin for him, and as well i didnt wanna risk faisani finding out i had been there.
"No i didnt," i said, "please just tell him that it's Deena."
"Alright."
She called him up and then after five minutes, he came out.
He looked so tired.
He stared at me and when he realized that the receptionist had clocked somethin was goin on, he said, "come with me deena,".
then he tld his receptionist not to call his office for five minutes.
Me and my dad walked into his office.
I took off my glasses.
"Deena, what do you want," he said gently.
"I have nowhere to stay," i said,"mum and me had a-"
"what happened to you, did she hit you," he asked.
"No," i said, "daddy i have nowhere to go."
I saw the look on his face when i called him daddy, like he was disgusted.
"Deena, there's nothing i can do for you, i cant even afford to give you 600 a month."
"Why?", i asked.
"That's 7,200 a year, i have a family, im trying to get into retirement."
"I'm your child though, you OWE me, you wouldnt say no to your other girls would you."
"Deena," he said, "ive tolerated your threats long enough, enough is enough, no more money, no more contact, ive given you too much."
"Fuck you," i said, "all i have to do is to tell your receptionist who I am and your wife will find out soon enough, what happens then, what happens when your family and mosque find out that you fucked ablack woman and have a daughterwith her."
"You filthy bitch," he said, "filthier than your mother, leave my office."
"No!".
"Leave!".
"If i leave, im telling your receptionist evrything and then i'll go to your house and tell your wife everything." I put my shades back on.
"What do you want?", he asked, he started to hold his chest.
"I dont want your money dad, i want you to accept me, i want you to take me in."
"I can NEVER do that, look at you- YOU ARE BLACK!, you thinkmy wife can accept you into our home, you think my children will learn to love you, NEVER, you are a mullato, a half cast, i regret the day i ever met your mother."
I looked at him and a tear ran down from beneath my shades.
"I love you daddy."
"I have enough daughters," he said, "i dont need you."
I looked at him and said, "write me a cheque for 5 grand and i'll never see you again, i wont bother you, gimme 5 grand,".
He looked at me and shook his head, "your mother was a whore, follow in her footsteps, you wont blackmail me anymore."
"What."
He picked up the phone and dialled a number.
"What are you doing?".
"I'm calling my wife and telling her everything."
I looked at him as he put the phone on speaker.
"Hi dad," a girl on the phone said.
"darling, is your mother home?".
"Yeah she is- MUM ITS DAD."
I looked at him. he was really doing it.
"hello."
then he started speaking in fardou and then i heard his wife scream and put the phone down on him.
"Now get out," he said, "you can never blackmail me anymore."
I looked at him, "and im not sending you anymore money, like i said, your mother was a woman of the night, ask her for tips."My heart sank. I left the office and the receptionist looked at me.
I left the GP and walked all the long way to the mcdonalds, i walked in, walked into the toilet, walked into a cubicle, sat on the toilet, locked it and sobbed.
I sobbed.
I cried for like an hour and then walked out. Where i was gonna go, I needed P and then i remembered somethin, Murda.
I know it might be dumb, cos like how diane got killed shottin for him but i needed money, i needed somewhere to say. But then somethin hit me, i had rochelles number. I opened up my bag and found the piece of paper she gave me and dialled the number.
"Hello," she said.
"Rochelle, its Deena."
"Oh sorry, this is her friend Antoinette, she's at the polling station helping with the voting, who's speaking please."
"Its ok," i said, "ill call later."
I put the phone down and called Murda.
"Deena?".
"Murda its me, please I need to see you."
"You still with ryan?", he asked.
"No, thats why i need to see you, please."
"Alright cool- come check man at yard yeah," he said.
I left MCds and got the bus to Fumez old yard where Murda was staying.
I walked into the estate, bare youts running around like it was half term or suttin.
They all looked at me and started shoutin, "OI SKET COME ERE."
I ignored them and knocked on Murda's door.
Damon answered, he was one of the guys i fucked during the line up.
I kissed him on the cheek, he squeezed my bum.
We walked into the front room. Murda was snortin a line.
I took off my shades.
"Shit Deena! you're fucking boom," he said.
All his boys laughed, there ten of them with him, i had fucked 8 of them and sucked two of them not including Damon.
I sat on the dirty couch. it smelt like weed so bad.
"Whats good Deena, ryan fucked u up again," he asked.
I nodded.
"Murda, i need dough," i said,
"Deena, you're too risky, Fumez is in pen for you, yeah u didnt ask hm to set natalie up but here's the thing every single man i know gets gassed up over you, man aint lookin to fall in love."
His boys started laughin.
"Murda," i said, "i have noone, im alone, i need protection, i need P, i'll do anythin."
"This sounds familiar," Damon said, "Oi, did you know that diane chick?".
I shook my head, "im not like her," i said, "she was dumb,id be so good, id shot for you."
"Nah nah," Murda said, "ive stopped lettin chicks shot for me, you're gonna have to do somethin else for your P,"
Murda beckoned me. I got up and Damon followed me and Murda. we went into the room where i got gangbanged with the 19 guys and the same room that me sorcha, fumez and ryan had the foursome.
Damon locked the door.
Murda said to me, "are you on skettin,"
"What," i asked.
"Are you fucking man for money," Damon asked pulling me tohim.
"Yeah," i said.
"Alright," Murda said, "ill look after you, if you fuck a few man for us once a week, we'll pay you about 3 bills a week."
"Which man," i said.
"Man from all around endz innit,"Damon said touching my pussy.
It felt so nice.
Damon, i looked at him, i think he was gonna be my new ting. He looked a bit like smurkz, damon long hair though, like black the ripper..
He kissed my neck.
"Ill do anythin u say," i said.
Murda laughed, "then sort me and my boy out, make our dicks happy."
I took off my clothes. Murda sucked my tits. Damon was squeezing my ass and then he said, "ryan got to have this to himself brav?".
Murda laughed, "its ours now bruv."
I lay on the bed and started playing with my pussy. Murda started to fingerin me. Damon took out his dick, 11 inches. My mouth opend by itself.
He put it in and i sucked it.
I sucked it like it was a life force. He started giggling as Murda started to eat my pussy.
"Shit man didnt know u was a bocat," damon said.
murda looked up and said, "i aint, but this pussy is nice."
Damon started rubbin my tits as i sucked his dick. Deepthroat ting. He started cryin out and laughin.
"Is this pussy wet enough bruv,"Damon asked.
"All yours."
Murda stopped eating me out as Damon took off his garms and got on top of me.
"You've been fuckin with a fassy,"Damon said, "ryans a bitch compared to me."
"does ryan still suck dick,"murda asked.
I nodded.
Damon and Murda laughed, "cant lie though," Murda said, "ryans brain isnt bad, ive buss in his mouth many a time, JOKE!".
Damon said, "you know ryan used to do line ups for other man."
WTF.
They were lyin.
"Tru say im not lyin,"Damon said.
Murda nodded, "Ryan used to do line ups for old white men we used to shot to and they'd pay him an extra bil for it."
They needed to stop talkin about all that gay shit. it was so dirty.
Then Damon put his dick in me.
I groaned.
I grabbed onto his neck as he started wockin me slowly.
His tings, so hard in me growin in me moist pussy. he was kissin my neck. his big hands all in my hair as Murda watched.
Damon was wedge, not too wedge, just tall and wedge. you know that warm feeling you get all over your body when there's abig hard throbbing dick in you, that feeling was gettinme on a hype.
Damon looked down at me and kissed me.
"it feels nice yeah," he laughed.
Murda was watchin it.
I started gettin high, i hadnt felt this way since adam. my head was getting light. body feeling weak. legs quivering, dick digging out my pussy.
"fuck me damon, beat me out."
"ur on this dick yeah?", murda asked.
"This is my chick now,"damon said lookin at murda as he fucked me.Murda nodded.
Damon groaned, my pussy was eating his dick, the moisture making his dick slippery.
"fuck me in my mouth murda," i said.
"Nah its cool," murda said, "ive got a headache."
Damon's chest hair was all in my face. i bit some off and swallowed it.
"SHIT!", he and murda said.
"ah now ur gonna get it."
he started banging me out so hard and then the door bell rang.
Murda walked out to answer it.
Damon was banging me so slow as Murda walked back in.
"Deena," Murda said.
Damon stopped fuckin me. I sat up. there was a girl in her school uniform with Murda in the room, she looked like a young sorcha just with dark skin. Murda kissed her on the lips. she grabbed his dick. Damon got up and kissed her.she,murda and damon were having a threesome kiss.
I said, "who is she?".
Damon looked at me and laughed, "her names Paula," he said.
"Ryans little sister."
She went to slap me, i pushed her back. What she said hit me, she said she wished she had killed me, aborted me.
I started cryin so hard. "You slut," she screamed, "you've always been jealous of me."
I looked at her and held back my tears, the pain i was feeling was so piercing I felt like i was gonna collapse.
I looked at her and said, "Bye mum."
"You NEED me," she screamed, "you're nothing but a cheap slut, how can you ever be my child?".
"Ive never needed you, nan raised me, and i have money, my DADS been sending money to me."
She looked shocked, "you what?".
"I went to see him, he's been sending me money because i'm his daughter, if anyones the slag its you, fucking married man coming like Javine,."
She picked up the vase and threw it at me. I dodged it.
She went to fight me, i pushed her on the chair and ran upstairs. I locked my bedroom door, got changed into a tracksuit and reeboks and then packed my clothes.
I unlocked the door, i didnt say anything to her and left.
I didnt know where i was gonna go.
For all i knew, it couldve been sorcha who told ryan i was with adam.
my nan was in bados.
ryan was out of the question so was adam.
I was so scared to be walkin around like this, i kept worryin that smurkz would come after me. And then i thought, "im gonna see my dad."
I couldnt go and see him like this. I got on the bus to go to nans house and when i got on the bus some chicks started singing
DEENA DEENA
EVERYONE'S BEAT IT
BUSS IN HER MOUTH
DUN KNOW SHE'D EAT IT
I just ignored them, my face was bruised up, my hair was a mess. I got off the bus and walked to grandmas house. I unlocked the door and ran up to the shower, i didnt want to cry as i showered but i just did, and then i remembered that i didnt see the spare key, sorcha mustve forgotten to post it when she left.
I got out of the shower, dried myself, straightened my hair, put on concealer and some make up, and put on my coco and breezy's, my navy blue baggy star in the hood jumper, black tights and electric blue reeboks.
I left the house, with the sunglasses you couldnt tell my eyes were bruised.
I called a cab to my dads workplace in finsbury.
I got in and tried not to cry, i hated my mum so much, what she said was hurtin my heart.
The cabdriver wanted to talk to me about the election but i didnt say anythin, i was too upset.
It got to the GP and i paid the driver, i didnt even know how much. I walked into the gp and asked the receptionist for my dad.
"Did you book an appointment with him?", the receptionist asked. I didnt wanna tell her that i was his daughter cos he most probably knew hs wife and other kids and i didnt wanna ruin anythin for him, and as well i didnt wanna risk faisani finding out i had been there.
"No i didnt," i said, "please just tell him that it's Deena."
"Alright."
She called him up and then after five minutes, he came out.
He looked so tired.
He stared at me and when he realized that the receptionist had clocked somethin was goin on, he said, "come with me deena,".
then he tld his receptionist not to call his office for five minutes.
Me and my dad walked into his office.
I took off my glasses.
"Deena, what do you want," he said gently.
"I have nowhere to stay," i said,"mum and me had a-"
"what happened to you, did she hit you," he asked.
"No," i said, "daddy i have nowhere to go."
I saw the look on his face when i called him daddy, like he was disgusted.
"Deena, there's nothing i can do for you, i cant even afford to give you 600 a month."
"Why?", i asked.
"That's 7,200 a year, i have a family, im trying to get into retirement."
"I'm your child though, you OWE me, you wouldnt say no to your other girls would you."
"Deena," he said, "ive tolerated your threats long enough, enough is enough, no more money, no more contact, ive given you too much."
"Fuck you," i said, "all i have to do is to tell your receptionist who I am and your wife will find out soon enough, what happens then, what happens when your family and mosque find out that you fucked ablack woman and have a daughterwith her."
"You filthy bitch," he said, "filthier than your mother, leave my office."
"No!".
"Leave!".
"If i leave, im telling your receptionist evrything and then i'll go to your house and tell your wife everything." I put my shades back on.
"What do you want?", he asked, he started to hold his chest.
"I dont want your money dad, i want you to accept me, i want you to take me in."
"I can NEVER do that, look at you- YOU ARE BLACK!, you thinkmy wife can accept you into our home, you think my children will learn to love you, NEVER, you are a mullato, a half cast, i regret the day i ever met your mother."
I looked at him and a tear ran down from beneath my shades.
"I love you daddy."
"I have enough daughters," he said, "i dont need you."
I looked at him and said, "write me a cheque for 5 grand and i'll never see you again, i wont bother you, gimme 5 grand,".
He looked at me and shook his head, "your mother was a whore, follow in her footsteps, you wont blackmail me anymore."
"What."
He picked up the phone and dialled a number.
"What are you doing?".
"I'm calling my wife and telling her everything."
I looked at him as he put the phone on speaker.
"Hi dad," a girl on the phone said.
"darling, is your mother home?".
"Yeah she is- MUM ITS DAD."
I looked at him. he was really doing it.
"hello."
then he started speaking in fardou and then i heard his wife scream and put the phone down on him.
"Now get out," he said, "you can never blackmail me anymore."
I looked at him, "and im not sending you anymore money, like i said, your mother was a woman of the night, ask her for tips."My heart sank. I left the office and the receptionist looked at me.
I left the GP and walked all the long way to the mcdonalds, i walked in, walked into the toilet, walked into a cubicle, sat on the toilet, locked it and sobbed.
I sobbed.
I cried for like an hour and then walked out. Where i was gonna go, I needed P and then i remembered somethin, Murda.
I know it might be dumb, cos like how diane got killed shottin for him but i needed money, i needed somewhere to say. But then somethin hit me, i had rochelles number. I opened up my bag and found the piece of paper she gave me and dialled the number.
"Hello," she said.
"Rochelle, its Deena."
"Oh sorry, this is her friend Antoinette, she's at the polling station helping with the voting, who's speaking please."
"Its ok," i said, "ill call later."
I put the phone down and called Murda.
"Deena?".
"Murda its me, please I need to see you."
"You still with ryan?", he asked.
"No, thats why i need to see you, please."
"Alright cool- come check man at yard yeah," he said.
I left MCds and got the bus to Fumez old yard where Murda was staying.
I walked into the estate, bare youts running around like it was half term or suttin.
They all looked at me and started shoutin, "OI SKET COME ERE."
I ignored them and knocked on Murda's door.
Damon answered, he was one of the guys i fucked during the line up.
I kissed him on the cheek, he squeezed my bum.
We walked into the front room. Murda was snortin a line.
I took off my shades.
"Shit Deena! you're fucking boom," he said.
All his boys laughed, there ten of them with him, i had fucked 8 of them and sucked two of them not including Damon.
I sat on the dirty couch. it smelt like weed so bad.
"Whats good Deena, ryan fucked u up again," he asked.
I nodded.
"Murda, i need dough," i said,
"Deena, you're too risky, Fumez is in pen for you, yeah u didnt ask hm to set natalie up but here's the thing every single man i know gets gassed up over you, man aint lookin to fall in love."
His boys started laughin.
"Murda," i said, "i have noone, im alone, i need protection, i need P, i'll do anythin."
"This sounds familiar," Damon said, "Oi, did you know that diane chick?".
I shook my head, "im not like her," i said, "she was dumb,id be so good, id shot for you."
"Nah nah," Murda said, "ive stopped lettin chicks shot for me, you're gonna have to do somethin else for your P,"
Murda beckoned me. I got up and Damon followed me and Murda. we went into the room where i got gangbanged with the 19 guys and the same room that me sorcha, fumez and ryan had the foursome.
Damon locked the door.
Murda said to me, "are you on skettin,"
"What," i asked.
"Are you fucking man for money," Damon asked pulling me tohim.
"Yeah," i said.
"Alright," Murda said, "ill look after you, if you fuck a few man for us once a week, we'll pay you about 3 bills a week."
"Which man," i said.
"Man from all around endz innit,"Damon said touching my pussy.
It felt so nice.
Damon, i looked at him, i think he was gonna be my new ting. He looked a bit like smurkz, damon long hair though, like black the ripper..
He kissed my neck.
"Ill do anythin u say," i said.
Murda laughed, "then sort me and my boy out, make our dicks happy."
I took off my clothes. Murda sucked my tits. Damon was squeezing my ass and then he said, "ryan got to have this to himself brav?".
Murda laughed, "its ours now bruv."
I lay on the bed and started playing with my pussy. Murda started to fingerin me. Damon took out his dick, 11 inches. My mouth opend by itself.
He put it in and i sucked it.
I sucked it like it was a life force. He started giggling as Murda started to eat my pussy.
"Shit man didnt know u was a bocat," damon said.
murda looked up and said, "i aint, but this pussy is nice."
Damon started rubbin my tits as i sucked his dick. Deepthroat ting. He started cryin out and laughin.
"Is this pussy wet enough bruv,"Damon asked.
"All yours."
Murda stopped eating me out as Damon took off his garms and got on top of me.
"You've been fuckin with a fassy,"Damon said, "ryans a bitch compared to me."
"does ryan still suck dick,"murda asked.
I nodded.
Damon and Murda laughed, "cant lie though," Murda said, "ryans brain isnt bad, ive buss in his mouth many a time, JOKE!".
Damon said, "you know ryan used to do line ups for other man."
WTF.
They were lyin.
"Tru say im not lyin,"Damon said.
Murda nodded, "Ryan used to do line ups for old white men we used to shot to and they'd pay him an extra bil for it."
They needed to stop talkin about all that gay shit. it was so dirty.
Then Damon put his dick in me.
I groaned.
I grabbed onto his neck as he started wockin me slowly.
His tings, so hard in me growin in me moist pussy. he was kissin my neck. his big hands all in my hair as Murda watched.
Damon was wedge, not too wedge, just tall and wedge. you know that warm feeling you get all over your body when there's abig hard throbbing dick in you, that feeling was gettinme on a hype.
Damon looked down at me and kissed me.
"it feels nice yeah," he laughed.
Murda was watchin it.
I started gettin high, i hadnt felt this way since adam. my head was getting light. body feeling weak. legs quivering, dick digging out my pussy.
"fuck me damon, beat me out."
"ur on this dick yeah?", murda asked.
"This is my chick now,"damon said lookin at murda as he fucked me.Murda nodded.
Damon groaned, my pussy was eating his dick, the moisture making his dick slippery.
"fuck me in my mouth murda," i said.
"Nah its cool," murda said, "ive got a headache."
Damon's chest hair was all in my face. i bit some off and swallowed it.
"SHIT!", he and murda said.
"ah now ur gonna get it."
he started banging me out so hard and then the door bell rang.
Murda walked out to answer it.
Damon was banging me so slow as Murda walked back in.
"Deena," Murda said.
Damon stopped fuckin me. I sat up. there was a girl in her school uniform with Murda in the room, she looked like a young sorcha just with dark skin. Murda kissed her on the lips. she grabbed his dick. Damon got up and kissed her.she,murda and damon were having a threesome kiss.
I said, "who is she?".
Damon looked at me and laughed, "her names Paula," he said.
"Ryans little sister."
Tuesday, 4 May 2010
DEENA SKET CHAPTER 48 part 2
My face.
I cleaned the blood off my face and tried not to lookmyself in the eye in the mirror. But i could see my reflection clear, he had hit me again. I was in his bathroom and he was lying in the bed and i wanted to cry so much but i held it and wiped the blood off my face.
He walked in and kissed my cheek, "You ok," he said.
I nodded and kissed him, "I wont do it again," he said. He hugged me and lipsed me.
"You want anything to eat," he said.
"Anythings good," i said.
"Ill go Sams for you innit," he said.
"Ok."
Then he left. I waited until he closed the door and just bawled on the bathroom floor. My face didnt hurt that much but my chest did, you know that painyou get in the back of your throat when you're so upset. He had tumped me again. This time it was just once and then he kicked me and then went to sleep. He knew i'd fucked Adam.
I just cried on the bathroom floor as blood poured from my bottom lip.
Then i thought of the yout. The baby that i lost when ryan fucked me up the first time and i was so- i was bare upset. I just cried. I was alone in the bathroom and alone in the world. and i was here just bawlin. my head hurt so much. I got up slowly and i walked to my phone. I picked it up and called Sorcha.
"Deena, i'm with my mum, we're talkin to the police, call me back," she said.
"Sorcha, did you tell ryan you saw me at adams yard," i asked.
"What- Deena no- i aint spoken to ryan, why whats happened, he hasnt hit you again has he?".
"Nah nah," i said. then i put the phone down. I was alone in Ryans yard, my top was bloody and my hair was a mess, i could still feel mans fist on my cheek. Then the door unlocked and he came upstairs and saw me standin there.
"Man forgot my wallet,"he laughed.
"You hit me," i said.
"I said im sorry," he said, "have u seen my wallet, im gonna get vex if ive lost it cos i just bought it as well."
"You tumped me," i said, "again."
"Deena shut up please and help me find my wallet,".
"Hit me again," i said.
He looked at me in shock and said, "Deena please man said hes sorry,"
"Hit me again Ryan," i said.
"What are u sayin," he said.
I walked up to him and punched him.
He fell to the floor. Shit.
He got up and lipsed me, "alright now we're even."
I punched him again. He punched me back. I fell to the floor. "Deena why the fuck r u tryna vex man."
I got up and wiped the blood from my nose.
I went to punch him again but he grabbed my hand and pushed me back.
"You really want man to fuck u up," he said, "u fink i dont wanna fuck u up for fuckin adam."
"Who told u," i said.
He punched me, "You're MINE!", he said.
I was bare dizzy as he kicked me in the stomach. Then he shouted out bare loud and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. "Im leavin you Ryan," i said.
He unlocked the bathroom door and looked at me.
"You aint goin nowhere," he said.
"Im leavin and not comin back,"i said.
He laughed, "ur a fuckin sket- who else wants you."
I started cryin.
"Ah babes," he said, he hugged me and started whisperin how sorry he was. I pushed him away.
"No," i said, "no."
I went to leave the house, but he grabbed me by hair. I screamed as it felt like my routes weregonna come out, i kicked behind me, my foot hit his dick. He fell back and i ran out of the house barefoot.
I swear to you, i ran barefoot on the road, bleeding gum, bloody top, i ran and ran and bare people were lookin at me, i didnt care, i ran all the way to my house, unlocked the door, ran inside and locked it behind me.
Then she walked out of the living room and saw me. "Deena."
"Mum."
I sat next to her as she cleaned the blood of my face with a wet towel.
"Deena," she said, "what happened."
My feet were aching so hard, id run barefooted.
"He hit me mum, Ryan hit me." She hugged me so tight and i pulled away.
"I shouldve come to see you when you lost your baby," i said.
She looked down, "oh lets not talk about that ok," she said and hugged me.
"Deena, i told you he was trouble, i told you he wouldnt really forgive you after you lied to the police to put him inside,"
"Mum," i said, "im sorry for everythin."
She started cryin and said, "its ok deena,".
I cried so hard. I hadnt been so close to my mum since i was bare little. She smelled of palmers cocoa butter.
She hugged me so tight. "Deena," she said, "what happened, why did he hit you."
I didnt say anythin and then i said, "he thinks i slept with my ex,".
She nodded wipin her tears, "hes a sick boy, hittin you like this again."
I looked up at my mum, "what happened to your baby," i asked.
"After you and me had the argument at marlon's, i was drivin and i started bleedin, i didnt even know i was pregnant," she said and started cryin.
"Im so sorry," i said.
"Its ok, its not the first time this has happened," she said.
"What."
"Before I had you, i had two miscarriages, i lost a boy and a girl, one year after the other," she said.
"Who were they with?", i asked.
She looked down at me, "It doesnt matter."
"No mum please tell me," i said.
She looked at me and said, "Natalies dad."
I turned away.
"It was when we were going out," she said.
"You and natalies dad?", i asked, natalie hadnt been lyin.
"We were havin an affair, he was with Natalies mum at the time and Natalie had just been born," she said.
I felt sick. "Then we broke up when I got pregnant with you, I thought he was your dad, but i was seein your real dad at the same time and i wasnt sure until you came out of me that you weren't natalie's dad baby, you looked too much like your dads other children."
I looked at her, how could Natalies dad be so sick, fuckin me knowin he had already fucked my mum.
"Deena, whatevers happened between us in the past, me and you can move on," she said, "we've both made mistakes, but you're my daughter, nothin should come between us."
"Mum who was the father of the yout you just lost," i asked.
"Natalies dad, we've been seeing each other for two years now, even though he was about to marry some Sandra lady."
"Mum, there's something i need to tell you about Natalies dad," i said.
She looked at me.
"what is it?", she asked.
"I slept with him mum too."
She jumped up and looked at me. She turned her back to me.
"You're lying", she said, "he wouldnt do that to me."
I was shocked,"mum, its true- that night i caught you with thatold man, i went to natalies house and he- we fucked."
She slapped me.
I screamd out. My face hurt even more.
"You lying bitch," she cried, "he wouldnt cheat on me with my own daughter."
I got up, i didnt know what to say. I was shakin with fear, what was she sayin.
"You- you're just jealous of me," she said, "you're lying, he LOVES me, he was goin to leave that sandra bitch to be with me."
My tears started flowing but i wasnt cryin. my eyes were just flowin with tears.
"mum," i said, "are you alright."
"Since the day you were born, you gave me trouble, i should have killed you, the shame i faced because of you, havin to explain to my mum who your father was, i knew you were a slut from when you were little, i saw the way you used to look at my boyfriends."
I froze and burst out cryin.
"I HATE YOU DEENA- i hate you, to sleep with MY MAN!".
"He wasnt yours," i stammered, "i- di-didnt know u were- he was engaged to sandra."
"But HE loved me and we're goin to be together, dont you understand?".
"What".
She screamed at me and pointed to her ring finger.
"He proposed to me, we're going to get married and YOU fucked him."
I cleaned the blood off my face and tried not to lookmyself in the eye in the mirror. But i could see my reflection clear, he had hit me again. I was in his bathroom and he was lying in the bed and i wanted to cry so much but i held it and wiped the blood off my face.
He walked in and kissed my cheek, "You ok," he said.
I nodded and kissed him, "I wont do it again," he said. He hugged me and lipsed me.
"You want anything to eat," he said.
"Anythings good," i said.
"Ill go Sams for you innit," he said.
"Ok."
Then he left. I waited until he closed the door and just bawled on the bathroom floor. My face didnt hurt that much but my chest did, you know that painyou get in the back of your throat when you're so upset. He had tumped me again. This time it was just once and then he kicked me and then went to sleep. He knew i'd fucked Adam.
I just cried on the bathroom floor as blood poured from my bottom lip.
Then i thought of the yout. The baby that i lost when ryan fucked me up the first time and i was so- i was bare upset. I just cried. I was alone in the bathroom and alone in the world. and i was here just bawlin. my head hurt so much. I got up slowly and i walked to my phone. I picked it up and called Sorcha.
"Deena, i'm with my mum, we're talkin to the police, call me back," she said.
"Sorcha, did you tell ryan you saw me at adams yard," i asked.
"What- Deena no- i aint spoken to ryan, why whats happened, he hasnt hit you again has he?".
"Nah nah," i said. then i put the phone down. I was alone in Ryans yard, my top was bloody and my hair was a mess, i could still feel mans fist on my cheek. Then the door unlocked and he came upstairs and saw me standin there.
"Man forgot my wallet,"he laughed.
"You hit me," i said.
"I said im sorry," he said, "have u seen my wallet, im gonna get vex if ive lost it cos i just bought it as well."
"You tumped me," i said, "again."
"Deena shut up please and help me find my wallet,".
"Hit me again," i said.
He looked at me in shock and said, "Deena please man said hes sorry,"
"Hit me again Ryan," i said.
"What are u sayin," he said.
I walked up to him and punched him.
He fell to the floor. Shit.
He got up and lipsed me, "alright now we're even."
I punched him again. He punched me back. I fell to the floor. "Deena why the fuck r u tryna vex man."
I got up and wiped the blood from my nose.
I went to punch him again but he grabbed my hand and pushed me back.
"You really want man to fuck u up," he said, "u fink i dont wanna fuck u up for fuckin adam."
"Who told u," i said.
He punched me, "You're MINE!", he said.
I was bare dizzy as he kicked me in the stomach. Then he shouted out bare loud and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. "Im leavin you Ryan," i said.
He unlocked the bathroom door and looked at me.
"You aint goin nowhere," he said.
"Im leavin and not comin back,"i said.
He laughed, "ur a fuckin sket- who else wants you."
I started cryin.
"Ah babes," he said, he hugged me and started whisperin how sorry he was. I pushed him away.
"No," i said, "no."
I went to leave the house, but he grabbed me by hair. I screamed as it felt like my routes weregonna come out, i kicked behind me, my foot hit his dick. He fell back and i ran out of the house barefoot.
I swear to you, i ran barefoot on the road, bleeding gum, bloody top, i ran and ran and bare people were lookin at me, i didnt care, i ran all the way to my house, unlocked the door, ran inside and locked it behind me.
Then she walked out of the living room and saw me. "Deena."
"Mum."
I sat next to her as she cleaned the blood of my face with a wet towel.
"Deena," she said, "what happened."
My feet were aching so hard, id run barefooted.
"He hit me mum, Ryan hit me." She hugged me so tight and i pulled away.
"I shouldve come to see you when you lost your baby," i said.
She looked down, "oh lets not talk about that ok," she said and hugged me.
"Deena, i told you he was trouble, i told you he wouldnt really forgive you after you lied to the police to put him inside,"
"Mum," i said, "im sorry for everythin."
She started cryin and said, "its ok deena,".
I cried so hard. I hadnt been so close to my mum since i was bare little. She smelled of palmers cocoa butter.
She hugged me so tight. "Deena," she said, "what happened, why did he hit you."
I didnt say anythin and then i said, "he thinks i slept with my ex,".
She nodded wipin her tears, "hes a sick boy, hittin you like this again."
I looked up at my mum, "what happened to your baby," i asked.
"After you and me had the argument at marlon's, i was drivin and i started bleedin, i didnt even know i was pregnant," she said and started cryin.
"Im so sorry," i said.
"Its ok, its not the first time this has happened," she said.
"What."
"Before I had you, i had two miscarriages, i lost a boy and a girl, one year after the other," she said.
"Who were they with?", i asked.
She looked down at me, "It doesnt matter."
"No mum please tell me," i said.
She looked at me and said, "Natalies dad."
I turned away.
"It was when we were going out," she said.
"You and natalies dad?", i asked, natalie hadnt been lyin.
"We were havin an affair, he was with Natalies mum at the time and Natalie had just been born," she said.
I felt sick. "Then we broke up when I got pregnant with you, I thought he was your dad, but i was seein your real dad at the same time and i wasnt sure until you came out of me that you weren't natalie's dad baby, you looked too much like your dads other children."
I looked at her, how could Natalies dad be so sick, fuckin me knowin he had already fucked my mum.
"Deena, whatevers happened between us in the past, me and you can move on," she said, "we've both made mistakes, but you're my daughter, nothin should come between us."
"Mum who was the father of the yout you just lost," i asked.
"Natalies dad, we've been seeing each other for two years now, even though he was about to marry some Sandra lady."
"Mum, there's something i need to tell you about Natalies dad," i said.
She looked at me.
"what is it?", she asked.
"I slept with him mum too."
She jumped up and looked at me. She turned her back to me.
"You're lying", she said, "he wouldnt do that to me."
I was shocked,"mum, its true- that night i caught you with thatold man, i went to natalies house and he- we fucked."
She slapped me.
I screamd out. My face hurt even more.
"You lying bitch," she cried, "he wouldnt cheat on me with my own daughter."
I got up, i didnt know what to say. I was shakin with fear, what was she sayin.
"You- you're just jealous of me," she said, "you're lying, he LOVES me, he was goin to leave that sandra bitch to be with me."
My tears started flowing but i wasnt cryin. my eyes were just flowin with tears.
"mum," i said, "are you alright."
"Since the day you were born, you gave me trouble, i should have killed you, the shame i faced because of you, havin to explain to my mum who your father was, i knew you were a slut from when you were little, i saw the way you used to look at my boyfriends."
I froze and burst out cryin.
"I HATE YOU DEENA- i hate you, to sleep with MY MAN!".
"He wasnt yours," i stammered, "i- di-didnt know u were- he was engaged to sandra."
"But HE loved me and we're goin to be together, dont you understand?".
"What".
She screamed at me and pointed to her ring finger.
"He proposed to me, we're going to get married and YOU fucked him."
Monday, 3 May 2010
DEENA SKET CHAPTER 48
"Deena WHO'S DOWN THERE!", Sorcha called from upstairs.
I looked at Rochelle, she shook her head as if to say dont tell her im here.
"Ah it was some jehovah witness," i said.
"Meet me at KFC in half an hour, dont tell Sorcha anythin," Rochelle said. Then she left.
It was so surreal. It was actually her. Rochelle. She was so beautiful- oh my gosh I was bare confused. Sorcha walked down the stairs.
"Shit Deena, you look like you've seen a ghost,", she said.
I looked up at her, "babes, i need to go and do something really quick yeah," i said, "wait here,".
"Where u goin," she asked.
"Im gonna go pick somethin up," i said, "wait here yeah."
She nodded, "is it alright i sleep in one of the beds," she asked.
"Yeah but not the one with the blue duvet, thats the one Jason fucked me in."
She went upstairs.
I left the house and locked the door and made my way down to KFC. This was fuckin nuts. I thought Rochelle was dead, thats what everyone was sayin. She was so beautiful.
I walked into KFC and saw her sitting near the back drinking a bottle of water.
I walked over and sat opposite her.
"Deena?", she said.
I nodded, "Rochelle," i said.
"You're not suprised to see me?", she asked.
"Tru say you're supposed to be dead."
She didnt say anything and then sipped her water. She looked like Chelsea from eastenders just with darker skin and smaller eyes.
"Ill explain all that later," she said.
"How do you know who I am?", i asked. "what do you want with sorcha."
"I wanna know why Sorcha knew Michelle was in trouble and didnt help her, i wanna know why YOU AND SORCHA went to ricos house and saw Michelle there and didnt nothin."
"I didnt know it was Michelle," i said,"but she's fine now though, she's with Sandra, she's safe now."
Rochelle looked at me like she was so vex, i actually wanted to eat her pussy, thats how sexy she was. She had on a tight white top and high waisted jeans with some boom chanels on with a navy silk scarf around her neck. Her hair was dead straight like pocahontas behind her back and her lipgloss bright pink and she had on some sexy smokey eye make up.
"Michelle isnt with Sandra," she said, "shes in a foster home because of what you and sorcha did."
"Sorry babes," i said, "dont blame us for what Natalie's dad did."
"Who's Natalie's dad."
"Sandra's ex," i said.
"Wait, Sandra was goin out with Natalies dad and you fucked him?",she asked. I didnt say anything.
"Why isnt Michelle with Sandra," i asked.
"She's not with Sandra because now Sandra is a single mum who already has twins, social services have to assess her before deciding she can look after Michelle," Rochelle said.
"How is that my fault," i asked.
"Its not only your fault, its the fault of Sandras man, had he not cheated Sandra would still be with him and social services wouldnt feel anyway about giving Michelle to them," she said.
KFC was startin to empty and it was only me, rochelle and three other people inside.
"How do you know all this," i asked. "where have you been, i thought you were dead."
"I didnt die in the fire, I managed to get out but everyone else died, my real sister Nomi, this other girl and my dad."
"Hes not your dad," i said, "he's sorcha's and michelle's dad."
"You dont have to remind me," she said, "he was a fuckin pervert, i managed to get out of the fire and i spent 5 months in hospital healing from the burns on my back and then after my friend Antoinette and I moved to West."
"You've been in London all dis time," i said.
"Yeah and what?", she said, "i didnt know michelle had been kidnapped by Rico until i got out of hospital, by the time i was ready to look for her the feds had found her."
"So what do you want with Sorcha?", i asked.
"Be honest Deena, do you think Sorcha wants anything to do with Michelle," she asked.
I kept quiet for a bit andthen looked at her, i suddenly saw a sadness in her eyes.
"No," i said, "she hates you both for having her dad."
"He was a pervert,"she said, "he wasnt no good man."
"But it was still her dad and you and Michelle both had him there for you and she didnt."
"Whose fault is that?", she asked, "she should count herself lucky that he wasnt in her life, he caused all this mess."
"Where's your mum?", i asked.
Rochelle looked down and started cryin, "erm, shes dead innit."
"Oh im sorry," i said, "i didnt know, how did she die."
"Her man beat her to death after she caught me and him-".
"Oh," i said, "Rochelle, what do you want."
She pulled out a piece of paper from her clutch bag and gave it to me. "I was gonna give this to Sorcha but since she has no interest in being a sister to either me or Michelle i want you to have it."
"What is it," i said.
"It's my adress and number, i want you to keep it and give it to Michelle, and tell her that if she ever needs me for anything, i'll always be there for her."
"Why cant you give it to her yourself," i asked.
"The last time she saw me we were almost duppied and burnt alive by her dad, i dont wanna scare her, just give it to her and tell that im always gonna be there for her."
I looked at the adress and said, "There's no way i can give this to her, she hates me for not helping her and for fucking up her situation."
"Deena please," she said, "Ive lost everything and have had to start all over again, my mums dead, my real dad died even before i knew who he was, my real sister Nomi died in the fire, my nan- i dont know where she is, all i have is the hope that one day Michelle and I will be close again when shes older, dont tell anyone that youve seen me or that ive given you this," she said. Then she looked at arm.
"Whered did u get that bruise," she asked.
I looked down, it was either from when Adam or Ryan beat me up.
"My boyfriend," i said, "Im not sure which one."
"Are you still with him?", she asked. Then i remembered it was from when Ryan beat me up.
"I am," i said.
"I know this is none of my business, but if a man hits you once, he will do it again." she said
"It was a one off," i said, "Ryan wouldnt hurt me again."
"Ryan?", she asked."As in Ryan Whiteley."
I nodded. "Deena, i'll tell you from experience, road man only take a girl once place- to the road," she said.
"Rochelle you dont know shit," i said, my neck started to hurt from when Adam punched me. "Ryan's different now," i said, "hes changed."
"That bruise looks fresh, did he hit you today,"she asked.
"This was another guy, Adam, he hit me today, it made the bruise from ryan worse."
She looked at me for barelong and said, "Deena, what are you saying- how often do guys tump you."
I kept quiet, "Ryan wouldnt hit me again, the first time was my fault, i pushed him to it."
"He used to beat Diane up the same way," she said, "before she had his yout, he used to punch and slap her, and these times they werent even 17, he used to slap and kick her and then change for a bit and then tump her in her boat when he got vex."
"Diane's dead," i said.
"I know," she said, "the same fing which makes ryan attractive is the same fing which killed her- road mentality."
"Rochelle i beg you shoosh, Ryan aint road anymore," i said.
"Whats ryan doin now," she asked.
"Hes goin college in september."
"But he's my age, why is he only startin college now," she said.
"He's changed Rochelle, he almost went pen and that changed him."
"Pen for what," she asked.
"He tried settin up some bitch for me, he did it for me," i said.
She looked at me and shook her head, "You're even dumber than i was back in the day, these road man never change, change comes when you see it, not just when he says it,I got involved in so much shit because i found man like ryan attractive, known on road, a shotter, buyin me this buyin me that and i was so attracted to them kind of man that i let them do anythin they wanted to me and it fucked me up."
"I'm not like you Rochelle," i said.
"We're the same," she said, "only ive seen a better way."
I kissed my teeth, oh shit i just had to let out a sly fart. She smelt it and rolled her eyes,
"Deena, let me tell you from now- get your education whilst you can, because if you dont, you'll live to regret it, just look at Diane, me her and Sherice used to be so tight, always fuckin about in school, Diane got pregnant with only SATS to her name and had to shot to make P and looked at how that worked out, do you really wanna live your life always scared about this person comin after you or this person on road who you owe money," she said.
"You make it sound like anybody chooses to be on road," i said.
"People on road WANT to be on road, i know that cos i was one of dem, education is free in this country, but these eediats would rather be on road lookin like human post boxes, some of these man on road are so stupid that they fink being intimidating is a good fing- why would you wanna look scary, the man on road are so lazy that they cant even be bothered to think of their own gangs and so they "rep" bloods and crips like say they even know how to book a flight to America, they think they're so hard callin man who arent like them pussies, what they dont know is that whils theyre on road, the smart mandem are studying so they can leave the endz and do big tings," she sipped her water.
"Just look at tings like GrimeDaily and SBTV, do you think they're succesful cos they're lazy and act like the typical road man, no, they work hard so they achieve things, whereas that prick Femi Mccool finks that going into oxford street and asking dumb people even dumber questions is journalism like say he hasnt heard of a release form, being a hoodrat really isnt the one babes, you need to find somethin you're good at and work on it so you can leave endz and see bigger tings," she said.
"Nah but you go on like its easy to do big tings when everyone knows white people will only hold you back," i said.
"This is the UK babes, not Eastern Europe, racism only works when the victims of racism let it work, you fink an employer can get away with turning down ten black job applicants and go unnoticed, bein succesful dont mean that you're tryin to act white and dats the mistake too many of these youts make, if being succesful and an overachiever means your tryna be white, then what does it mean to be black- unsuccesful and a failure? never dat Deena- never dat, i'll tell you from now, these wastecadets are in for a suprise in 20 years time when they realize how wasteful their time has been, what are they gonna do when when they're 30, go raves and chirps gyal dem, oh please, they dont realize that their shootin themselves in the foot,all these dumb girls thinkin these man on road are sexy- i used to be one of them." she said.
I got up and said, "Ill give this to Michelle, but i never wanna see you again,".
She got up and said, "ok, just make sure you give it to her- why dont you wanna see me again."
"Because you think you know too much, but youdont know shit about me," i said. Then i left.
I put the piece of paper in my pocket and as I was walkin back to my nans yard to be with Sorcha, my phone rang, it was Ryan.
"Come here now," he said, then put the phone down. I didnt think too much of it, maybe he was ready to talk about Diane.
I called Sorcha and told her to meet me at Ryans house in a few hours but she said she wanted to go and see her mumso i told her where my nans spare key was, so when she left she could lock the door and post the key.
I got to Ryans yard and knocked on the door.
He opened it. He was wearin nothin but a string vest and white boxer shorts.
"You alright," i said.
He closed the door behind him and looked at me.
"You were with Adam today innit," he said.
I started breathing bare hard and sweating.
"Ryan I-".
He punched me and I hit the floor.
I looked at Rochelle, she shook her head as if to say dont tell her im here.
"Ah it was some jehovah witness," i said.
"Meet me at KFC in half an hour, dont tell Sorcha anythin," Rochelle said. Then she left.
It was so surreal. It was actually her. Rochelle. She was so beautiful- oh my gosh I was bare confused. Sorcha walked down the stairs.
"Shit Deena, you look like you've seen a ghost,", she said.
I looked up at her, "babes, i need to go and do something really quick yeah," i said, "wait here,".
"Where u goin," she asked.
"Im gonna go pick somethin up," i said, "wait here yeah."
She nodded, "is it alright i sleep in one of the beds," she asked.
"Yeah but not the one with the blue duvet, thats the one Jason fucked me in."
She went upstairs.
I left the house and locked the door and made my way down to KFC. This was fuckin nuts. I thought Rochelle was dead, thats what everyone was sayin. She was so beautiful.
I walked into KFC and saw her sitting near the back drinking a bottle of water.
I walked over and sat opposite her.
"Deena?", she said.
I nodded, "Rochelle," i said.
"You're not suprised to see me?", she asked.
"Tru say you're supposed to be dead."
She didnt say anything and then sipped her water. She looked like Chelsea from eastenders just with darker skin and smaller eyes.
"Ill explain all that later," she said.
"How do you know who I am?", i asked. "what do you want with sorcha."
"I wanna know why Sorcha knew Michelle was in trouble and didnt help her, i wanna know why YOU AND SORCHA went to ricos house and saw Michelle there and didnt nothin."
"I didnt know it was Michelle," i said,"but she's fine now though, she's with Sandra, she's safe now."
Rochelle looked at me like she was so vex, i actually wanted to eat her pussy, thats how sexy she was. She had on a tight white top and high waisted jeans with some boom chanels on with a navy silk scarf around her neck. Her hair was dead straight like pocahontas behind her back and her lipgloss bright pink and she had on some sexy smokey eye make up.
"Michelle isnt with Sandra," she said, "shes in a foster home because of what you and sorcha did."
"Sorry babes," i said, "dont blame us for what Natalie's dad did."
"Who's Natalie's dad."
"Sandra's ex," i said.
"Wait, Sandra was goin out with Natalies dad and you fucked him?",she asked. I didnt say anything.
"Why isnt Michelle with Sandra," i asked.
"She's not with Sandra because now Sandra is a single mum who already has twins, social services have to assess her before deciding she can look after Michelle," Rochelle said.
"How is that my fault," i asked.
"Its not only your fault, its the fault of Sandras man, had he not cheated Sandra would still be with him and social services wouldnt feel anyway about giving Michelle to them," she said.
KFC was startin to empty and it was only me, rochelle and three other people inside.
"How do you know all this," i asked. "where have you been, i thought you were dead."
"I didnt die in the fire, I managed to get out but everyone else died, my real sister Nomi, this other girl and my dad."
"Hes not your dad," i said, "he's sorcha's and michelle's dad."
"You dont have to remind me," she said, "he was a fuckin pervert, i managed to get out of the fire and i spent 5 months in hospital healing from the burns on my back and then after my friend Antoinette and I moved to West."
"You've been in London all dis time," i said.
"Yeah and what?", she said, "i didnt know michelle had been kidnapped by Rico until i got out of hospital, by the time i was ready to look for her the feds had found her."
"So what do you want with Sorcha?", i asked.
"Be honest Deena, do you think Sorcha wants anything to do with Michelle," she asked.
I kept quiet for a bit andthen looked at her, i suddenly saw a sadness in her eyes.
"No," i said, "she hates you both for having her dad."
"He was a pervert,"she said, "he wasnt no good man."
"But it was still her dad and you and Michelle both had him there for you and she didnt."
"Whose fault is that?", she asked, "she should count herself lucky that he wasnt in her life, he caused all this mess."
"Where's your mum?", i asked.
Rochelle looked down and started cryin, "erm, shes dead innit."
"Oh im sorry," i said, "i didnt know, how did she die."
"Her man beat her to death after she caught me and him-".
"Oh," i said, "Rochelle, what do you want."
She pulled out a piece of paper from her clutch bag and gave it to me. "I was gonna give this to Sorcha but since she has no interest in being a sister to either me or Michelle i want you to have it."
"What is it," i said.
"It's my adress and number, i want you to keep it and give it to Michelle, and tell her that if she ever needs me for anything, i'll always be there for her."
"Why cant you give it to her yourself," i asked.
"The last time she saw me we were almost duppied and burnt alive by her dad, i dont wanna scare her, just give it to her and tell that im always gonna be there for her."
I looked at the adress and said, "There's no way i can give this to her, she hates me for not helping her and for fucking up her situation."
"Deena please," she said, "Ive lost everything and have had to start all over again, my mums dead, my real dad died even before i knew who he was, my real sister Nomi died in the fire, my nan- i dont know where she is, all i have is the hope that one day Michelle and I will be close again when shes older, dont tell anyone that youve seen me or that ive given you this," she said. Then she looked at arm.
"Whered did u get that bruise," she asked.
I looked down, it was either from when Adam or Ryan beat me up.
"My boyfriend," i said, "Im not sure which one."
"Are you still with him?", she asked. Then i remembered it was from when Ryan beat me up.
"I am," i said.
"I know this is none of my business, but if a man hits you once, he will do it again." she said
"It was a one off," i said, "Ryan wouldnt hurt me again."
"Ryan?", she asked."As in Ryan Whiteley."
I nodded. "Deena, i'll tell you from experience, road man only take a girl once place- to the road," she said.
"Rochelle you dont know shit," i said, my neck started to hurt from when Adam punched me. "Ryan's different now," i said, "hes changed."
"That bruise looks fresh, did he hit you today,"she asked.
"This was another guy, Adam, he hit me today, it made the bruise from ryan worse."
She looked at me for barelong and said, "Deena, what are you saying- how often do guys tump you."
I kept quiet, "Ryan wouldnt hit me again, the first time was my fault, i pushed him to it."
"He used to beat Diane up the same way," she said, "before she had his yout, he used to punch and slap her, and these times they werent even 17, he used to slap and kick her and then change for a bit and then tump her in her boat when he got vex."
"Diane's dead," i said.
"I know," she said, "the same fing which makes ryan attractive is the same fing which killed her- road mentality."
"Rochelle i beg you shoosh, Ryan aint road anymore," i said.
"Whats ryan doin now," she asked.
"Hes goin college in september."
"But he's my age, why is he only startin college now," she said.
"He's changed Rochelle, he almost went pen and that changed him."
"Pen for what," she asked.
"He tried settin up some bitch for me, he did it for me," i said.
She looked at me and shook her head, "You're even dumber than i was back in the day, these road man never change, change comes when you see it, not just when he says it,I got involved in so much shit because i found man like ryan attractive, known on road, a shotter, buyin me this buyin me that and i was so attracted to them kind of man that i let them do anythin they wanted to me and it fucked me up."
"I'm not like you Rochelle," i said.
"We're the same," she said, "only ive seen a better way."
I kissed my teeth, oh shit i just had to let out a sly fart. She smelt it and rolled her eyes,
"Deena, let me tell you from now- get your education whilst you can, because if you dont, you'll live to regret it, just look at Diane, me her and Sherice used to be so tight, always fuckin about in school, Diane got pregnant with only SATS to her name and had to shot to make P and looked at how that worked out, do you really wanna live your life always scared about this person comin after you or this person on road who you owe money," she said.
"You make it sound like anybody chooses to be on road," i said.
"People on road WANT to be on road, i know that cos i was one of dem, education is free in this country, but these eediats would rather be on road lookin like human post boxes, some of these man on road are so stupid that they fink being intimidating is a good fing- why would you wanna look scary, the man on road are so lazy that they cant even be bothered to think of their own gangs and so they "rep" bloods and crips like say they even know how to book a flight to America, they think they're so hard callin man who arent like them pussies, what they dont know is that whils theyre on road, the smart mandem are studying so they can leave the endz and do big tings," she sipped her water.
"Just look at tings like GrimeDaily and SBTV, do you think they're succesful cos they're lazy and act like the typical road man, no, they work hard so they achieve things, whereas that prick Femi Mccool finks that going into oxford street and asking dumb people even dumber questions is journalism like say he hasnt heard of a release form, being a hoodrat really isnt the one babes, you need to find somethin you're good at and work on it so you can leave endz and see bigger tings," she said.
"Nah but you go on like its easy to do big tings when everyone knows white people will only hold you back," i said.
"This is the UK babes, not Eastern Europe, racism only works when the victims of racism let it work, you fink an employer can get away with turning down ten black job applicants and go unnoticed, bein succesful dont mean that you're tryin to act white and dats the mistake too many of these youts make, if being succesful and an overachiever means your tryna be white, then what does it mean to be black- unsuccesful and a failure? never dat Deena- never dat, i'll tell you from now, these wastecadets are in for a suprise in 20 years time when they realize how wasteful their time has been, what are they gonna do when when they're 30, go raves and chirps gyal dem, oh please, they dont realize that their shootin themselves in the foot,all these dumb girls thinkin these man on road are sexy- i used to be one of them." she said.
I got up and said, "Ill give this to Michelle, but i never wanna see you again,".
She got up and said, "ok, just make sure you give it to her- why dont you wanna see me again."
"Because you think you know too much, but youdont know shit about me," i said. Then i left.
I put the piece of paper in my pocket and as I was walkin back to my nans yard to be with Sorcha, my phone rang, it was Ryan.
"Come here now," he said, then put the phone down. I didnt think too much of it, maybe he was ready to talk about Diane.
I called Sorcha and told her to meet me at Ryans house in a few hours but she said she wanted to go and see her mumso i told her where my nans spare key was, so when she left she could lock the door and post the key.
I got to Ryans yard and knocked on the door.
He opened it. He was wearin nothin but a string vest and white boxer shorts.
"You alright," i said.
He closed the door behind him and looked at me.
"You were with Adam today innit," he said.
I started breathing bare hard and sweating.
"Ryan I-".
He punched me and I hit the floor.
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